Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Friday Funny..

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by d3s1b0y, Nov 25, 2005.

  1. I've seen this in the emails many times but still a classic...


    It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
    throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
    of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints
    received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will
    no longer be tolerated. We do, however realize the critical
    importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when
    communicating with co-workers.

    Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have
    been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
    continue in an effective manner.

    1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

    INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

    2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

    INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

    3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

    INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

    4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

    INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

    5) TRY SAYING: Really?

    INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

    6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

    INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

    7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

    INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

    8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

    INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

    9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

    INSTEAD OF: this sh__ won't work.

    10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

    INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

    11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.

    INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

    12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

    INSTEAD FO: Eat sh__ and die.

    13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

    INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

    14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

    INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

    15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

    INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

    16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

    INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

    17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

    INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

    18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

    INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

    Thank You,

    Human Recources
  2. Heh :)

  3. :LOL: That's good, think I'm guilty of using pretty much everyone of those "instead of" lines.