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friday Funny - Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Jul 27, 2007.

  1. Very North Americian content but with the Americanisation of our culture I think most of you will understand this one :roll:

    A Canadian civil servant: Thank you for your recent inquiry requesting to be informed as to the reason for which the chicken crossed the road. Your question will be brought to the attention of the Minister without undue delay; however, in light of recent constraints on the department’s ability to initiate new investigations of a potentially open-ended nature, and given the fact that your letter identifies neither the nationality of the bird in question, nor the exact location of the thoroughfare traversed, your request may be routed for further processing to Foreign Affairs and/or to the Federal-Provincial Relations Branch (both currently undergoing wide-ranging reorganizations), a swift response cannot be assured at this point in time.

    DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

    OPRAH : Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. I'll also set up a school for chickens.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

    JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. GUILTY!

    PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

    DR SEUSS :

    Did the chicken cross the road?

    Did he cross it with a toad?

    Yes, the chicken crossed the road,

    But why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.

    GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road .

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet e explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never crash.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE : I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?
  2. :LOL: Kept the best one till last :LOL:
  3. He forgot to mention the 'blue chicken of death'!
  4. Surely that would be Internet Eggsplorer????? :LOL:.
  5. Its ok the one that he didn't get we did :cheeky: .....i work at inghams