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Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Aug 26, 2005.

  1. The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!

    This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

    DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
    SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
    SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
    ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

    DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
    SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
    SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
    ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

    DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
    SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
    SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
    ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

    DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
    SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
    SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
    ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

    DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
    SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
    SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
    ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate!

    13 Things PMS Stands For......

    1. Pass My Shotgun

    2. Psychotic Mood Shift

    3. Perpetual Munching Spree

    4. Puffy Mid-Section

    5. People Make me Sick

    6. Provide Me with Sweets

    7. Pardon My Sobbing

    8. Pimples May Surface

    9. Pass My Sweatpants

    10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

    11. Plainly; Men Suck

    12. Pack My Stuff

    13. Potential Murder Suspect

    Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...or men who need a warning.

    And remember: Money talks...but Chocolate sings.
  2. Or to put it another way, whatever the problem chocolate is the solution.
    Great giggle mate, good start to the Friday!
  3. women, cant live with them, cant shoot them either :LOL:

    nar, my girls fine, once you work out where to keep a stash of choccie to offer up when you say the wrong thing, its all goooood :D
  4. That's classic!
  5. How do peoples get the time to think of these things??

    A classic, indeed.
  6. Hahaha nice work man. Would you like some chocolate? :p
  7. As someone whose wife is experiencing all the drama that goes with that time in her life, I can't even begin to tell you how disturbingly accurate that post is!!!

    (I keep plenty of chocolate on hand)