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Friday Funny - Men are like..........

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Nov 17, 2006.

  1. After some of the comments last weeks funny generated it's time to get some credits up with the opposite sex.....

    1. Men are like ........ Laxatives . They irritate the shit out of you.

    2. Men are like ........ Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.

    3. Men are like ........ Weather . Nothing can be done to change them..

    4. Men are like ........ Blenders . You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

    5. Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars . Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

    6. Men are like ....... Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.

    7. Men are like ........ Department Stores . Their clothes are always
    1/2 off.

    8. Men are like ........ Government Bonds . They take soooooooo long to mature.

    9. Men are like ....... Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

    10. Men are like ....... Popcorn . . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

    11. Men are like . Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

    12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.

    13. Men are like ........ Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
  2. 14. Men are like ........ Factory Fires. They're very exciting when burning in the middle of the night, but in the cold light of the morning.......
  3. You got that from a porno site didn't ya pvda, lol.
  4. No.

    The guy who sent it to me is soooo straight laced it's not funny.
  5. Men are like tiles ...... lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for ever

    I blame the missus for this one ........ she did it right the first time (and every time afterwards :grin: )
  6. Men are like beer bottles...empty from the neck up.

  7. Ahhhhh you've met my O.C I take it Pete :LOL: :LOL: :p
  8. thats pretty low. learn yourself some substance and figure out what you value in a person before you start dropping kids :grin: .

    us cripples have got it good. we have a filter and only attract the men who are worth the time of day.......and the unlovable ha ha.

    on BALLS O STEEL last night an able body woman sat at a table in a bar and picked up fellas. after much chatter they agree to leave the bar together but before they leave she trotts off to the loo. she PRETENDED TO BE CRIPPLED and walked slow with her knees touching and feet out.

    if he was still there when she returned she was on a winner!

    she should av won, twas funny as!
  9. I think the punchline points more towards men being emotionally handicapped, not physically.

    On a related note

    D: how do I get a female filter? Something to stop me hooking up with women with deep-seated emotional problems would be very handy....
  10. that's a good question. i will do some thinking for you.

    ok ok i got it! on the 3rd date 'slip when opening a jar and elbow her' "accidentially". [oh please do a good acting job]

    there will be one of 4 responses;

    1] she will get angry and hit you back [spoilt brat, emotional probs, run]

    2] she will get angry at you [she doesn't have an understanding bone in her body, run]

    3] she ignores it [coping skills GREAT!]

    4] she makes a joke of it [coping skills AND a sense o humor! win win]

    5] she realized you did it on purpose [oh well, she was too good for you anyway]
  11. Scrambles! You were there!

    Just use pepper-spray like I did :p