Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Friday Funny - Marriage

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Aug 5, 2005.

  1. "Some marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning."

    "Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the number that re-enlist." - James Garner

    "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." - Benjamin Franklin

    "By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates (philosopher)

    "A diplomatic husband said to his wife, 'How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?'"

    "It takes a smart spouse to have the last word and not use it."

    "The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think." - Ladies Home Journal

    "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband." - Michel de Montaingne

    "The person who marries for money usually earns every penny of it."

    "If men acted after marriage as they do during courtship, there would be fewer divorces - and more bankruptcies." - Frances Rodman

    "Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke."

    "Many husbands go broke on the money their wives save on sales."

    I even managed to put this in the Jokes & Humour section to keep Mouth happy :p
  2. mmmmm, I've been married for 32 years and some of them sound familiar!!!
  3. What a good boy you are!

    Having been deleriously happily married since December 1973, I refuse to criticise the institution ........ for those who have not, or are not yet, one of the above should help!
  4. That's the best, classic :LOL:
  5. "Always be a good house-keeper, darlings. When you leave the husband, keep the house"
    Zsa-Zsa Gabor
  6. I think we need a sub group here - Riders born in 1949 & married in 1973 :LOL: :LOL:

    There seem to be a few of us around... :?
  7. They say Marriage is a fine institution, if you like living in an institution :p :LOL: :wink:
  8. Yes, I must admit that the selective deafness does creep up on you...:LOL:
  9. I wish it'd creep up on 'er indoors! She overhears a good deal more than I'd like her to :roll:

  10. Actually you can now tell her that it's not selective deafness - it's a biological fact that you didn't hear what she said :LOL: :LOL:
    from the ABC News Website today...


    Men do have trouble hearing women: research
    Men who are accused of never listening by women now have an excuse - women's voices are more difficult for men to listen to than other men's.

    Reports say researchers at Sheffield University in northern England have discovered startling differences in the way the brain responds to male and female sounds.

    The research shows men decipher female voices using the auditory part of the brain that processes music, while male voices engage a simpler mechanism.

    The Daily Mail quotes researcher Michael Hunter as saying, "the female voice is actually more complex than the male voice, due to differences in the size and shape of the vocal cords and larynx between men and women, and also due to women having greater natural 'melody' in their voices".

    "This causes a more complex range of sound frequencies than in a male voice," Mr Hunter said.

    The report says the findings may help explain why people suffering hallucinations usually hear male voices - the brain may find it much harder to conjure up a false female voice accurately than a false male voice.

    The research is published in the specialist magazine NeuroImage.
  11. Tony, you're a genius. Go to the top of the class for finding this article. I'll read it to Mrs RC as soon as I get home.

    I like the car sticker that says, "No, I'm not deaf - I'm just ignoring you."