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Friday Funny - (I'm not in on Friday)

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Aug 17, 2005.

  1. Cos I'm off to Winton tomorrow so wont be able to do this on Friday.

    Some are a bit lame, but the rest are pretty good.



    WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
    Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
    Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
    Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
    And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


    WOMEN'S REVENGE
    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


    MARRIAGE SEMINAR
    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
    He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower?"
    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's White Wings, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.

    WIFE VS. HUSBAND
    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."



    WORDS
    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
    The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

    CREATION
    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
    The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

    WHO DOES WHAT
    A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
     
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  2. Thanks for them, mate, they are excellent..

    Especially the picture on the milk carton

    :):):):)
     
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  3. I liked the Women's Revenge. I would be lost in the house without the remote. One television has a DVD player built it and you can't even turn it on without the remote. So if the remote stops working, I'm stuffed. I used to have a video recorder too, that you couldn't set it to come on at a predetermined time, so if again the remote was misplaced you were knackered.
     
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