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Friday Funny - Equations

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Aug 12, 2005.

  1. Seeing that Pete the Freak didn't like my Friday Funny (morning edition) here's another go

    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

    OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

    SHOPPING MATH
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

    GENERAL EQUATIONS
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    HAPPINESS
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

    LONGEVITY STATISTICS
    Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
     
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  2. I think the wisdom is in this little reference - i'll happily spend more on something that i need then and there; acknowledging that i'm keeping someone in business who is providing a service by having the part then and there!

    My other half will come home after 'just going to the supermarket' with a heap of stuff she never actually wanted! Last time she came home with 2000+ bobby pins! WHY!? "Cos they were only $4!"
     
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  3. ah but as a woman i know how quickly you can go through 2000 bobby pins. especially when someone keeps borrowing them for lockpicks.
     
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  4. Or as emergency cd/dvd drive ejection 'tools'. :wink:
    Guilty.
     
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  5. Mrs RC doesn't use bobby pins but there's a desparate shortage of paper clips around our house for the same reason.

    That is a GREAT list, so many of those are so true.
     
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  6. Don't be too hard on Pete, mate, he's grieving the death of the Spada, and doesn't feel much like laughing. He'll be fine in a few days when the scars start to heal.
    Good list, as noted an oldie, but, yes, a goodie!
    (How many ladies have gone broke, saving money??) Just kidding, folks! :LOL:
     
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