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Friday Funny - Don't mess with Mom

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Jun 7, 2007.

  1. Had this sent to me the other day and seeing I'm having a 4 day weekend and wont be in tomorrow I thought I'd post this early.

    My son came home from school one day with a smirk upon his face.
    He decided he was smart enough to put me in my place.

    "Guess what I learned in Civics Two that's taught by Mr. Wright?
    It's all about the laws today The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

    It says I need not clean my room don't have to cut my hair
    No one can tell me what to think or speak, or what to wear.

    I have freedom from religion and regardless what you say,
    I don't have to bow my head and I sure don't have to pray.

    I can wear earrings if I want and pierce my tongue & nose.
    I can read & watch just what I like get tattoos from head to toe.

    And if you ever spank me I'll charge you with a crime.
    I'll back up all my charges with the marks on my behind.

    Don't you ever touch me my body's only for my use,
    not for your hugs and kisses that's just more child abuse.

    Don't preach about your morals like your Mama did to you.
    That's nothing more than mind control And it's illegal too!

    Mom, I have these children's rights so you can't influence me,
    or I'll call Children's Services Division better known as C.S.D."

    Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.
    But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.

    I mulled it over carefully I couldn't let this go.
    A smile crept upon my face he's messing with a pro.

    Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.
    I told him, "Pick out all you want there's shirts & pants galore.

    I've called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't care
    if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.

    I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test.
    The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best."

    I said "No time to stop and eat or pick up stuff to munch.
    And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.

    Just save the raging appetite and wait till dinner time.
    We're having liver and onions a favorite dish of mine."

    He asked "Can I please rent a movie to watch on my VCR?"
    "Sorry, but I sold your TV for new tires on my car.

    I also rented out your room you'll take the couch instead.

    The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head.

    Your clothing won't be trendy now I'll choose what we eat.
    That allowance that you used to get will buy me something neat.

    I'm selling off your jet ski dirt-bike & roller blades.
    Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights' It's in effect today!

    Hey hot shot, are you crying
    Why are you on your knees?
    Are you asking God to help you out instead of C.S.D..?"

    Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH ...I love this One!!!
  2. thanks that was a good one..
  3. I sent a copy to my sister & parents for future reference when my nephew gets to that age..
  4. Funny one, Paul.