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Friday Funny - Broady TAFE Entrance Exam

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Jun 3, 2005.

  1. May've been posted before but I'll post it anyway.


    20. If Mario fits a monster tacho to his TE gemini, how much quicker will it go down the quarter mile at Calder on Friday night?

    21. If Stella (who is 26) is only allowed to go out for 8 hours on a weekend and on Friday night she goes out with her 14 cousins to Gamma Bar for 3 hours, how long can she go to Chapel St for a coffee on Sunday night?

    22. Mohamed has 7 children and gets $600 a week from Social Security, if he goes to the TAB and puts half on a donkey in the 5th race at Flemington that's paying 22 to 1 because Ali says it's a fix, how many stolen car stereos does he need to sell when the horse fails to finish?

    23. Jim has just got a big payout from workcover for a bad back, does he:
    A: spend the money on a holiday back home to Greece
    B: use the money to renovate his Templestowe house
    C: go to the casino and try to double it.

    25. George is going to the Metro underage disco on Saturday, will he get in easier if he wears his Kappa tracksuit or his Adidas tracksuit?

    26. Mario and his mates are going cruising down Chapel St on Friday night, how many stone chips will his car get if he doesn't fit his car bra?

    27. How much quicker will Ali's VK commodore go if he fits the stolen VL turbo badge on it and shifts the number plate to the side so it looks like hes running an intercooler?

    28. From how far can you hear Ricky Martin being played in Jims Valiant if he has just fitted 2 500watt amps and twin 15 inch subwoofers?

    29. Milan wants to go to QBH on Saturday night, how many cousins does he need to take with him in case he gets thrown out and wants to fight the bouncers?

    30. Steve's mates are going down to Rye for the day how much gel will he need to take with him if he goes into the water for a swim and still wants to look cool for the carnival later?

    31. How many chicks does Jimmy need to say he scored on the weekend if he wants to sound cool to his work mates at Ford on Monday?

    32. Spiro has got a big date on Saturday and wants to look ripped in his skin tight lycra top, how much will he need to bench press at the gym on Friday night?

    33. Part A. Nicks 6 mates want to go down to Elwood in his VK Calais 5.0ltr, how much petrol money does he need to get off each guy if hes running a 3000rpm stall and 4.11 diff ratio?

    33. Part B. If they cruise down to Dandy road how many times will they get called Mario's?

    33. Part C. On the way, how many drags will they have against XD Falcons?

    34. Who should Maria go out with this weekend if:
    A: George is a DJ and drives a Gemini
    B: Mario works for his Fathers concreting company and drives an XF ute with a big block
    C: John whos unemployed but can get drink cards at Chasers

    35. If Con works in a Fruit shop in Lalor how much overtime will he need to do to pay Ali the delivery driver for the hot 18inch Simmons wheels he just scored?

    36. Part A: Ngyun's parents just bought him a brand new Honda Civic, he has $2000 to spend on after-market parts for his car, what should he buy:
    A: A full 4inch stainless exhaust with a turbo tip
    B: 18 inch Auscar wheels and 25 series tyres
    C: A rear nascar wing
    D: A Mugen racing sticker pack

    36. Part C. How many stuffed toys should he glue to the dashboard:
    A: less than 10
    B: More than 10
    C: More than 20

    36. Part C. How much quicker will the car go if he color codes the mirrors, the brake rotors and wind-screen wipers?

    37. Mick wants to put a Jim Beam sticker or a p0rn Star sticker on his car, which one will get him more roots?

    38. Gino has 7 stocking garters hanging off his Geminis rear vision mirror, how many more weddings will he need to go to until he cant fit anymore on it?

    39. If Giovanni chops the springs in his parents new Falcon XR8, how many times a week will he get hassled by the cops if he puts 90% tinting on the windows as well?

    40. How much better will Georges stereo system sound if he puts an Alpine sticker on the back window of his bluebird?

    41. Part A: Voula shares a room with her 3 older sisters, how much will she need to bribe her sisters if she wants to sneak out and go to Silvers on Saturday night?

    41. Part B: How many times a week does her father need to unblock the sink in the bathroom?

    42. If Joe goes to the Whiskey bar every Friday and Saturday night for a month, how many condoms do you think he will need:
    A: less than 10
    B: more than 10
    C: none because he wont pull a root

    43: Rosa wants to upgrade her phone from an Ericcson to a Nokia because they are much cooler, which one should she go for the 8250 or the 8210?

    44. Its nearly summer and Guido,19 and is worried about the hair growing on his back, should he:
    A: Shave it
    B: Wax it
    C: Get electrolysis like his sister
    D: Leave it because his mates say chicks like hairy men

    45. Pinas parents just bought a new lounge room suite how long does the plastic stay on it?
    A. 1 year
    B. 2 year
    C. Never comes off

    46. Mohammed wants to drop a burnout at Bell St Mc-Donalds, how many RPM will he need to get to before he drops the clutch if his fat cousin is in the back seat?

    47. Mario is going to Heat on Saturday night, how tight will his new hipster pants have to be so the door biatch wont check his ID?

    47. Part B. How much Pino aftershave should he wear?

    48. Ali's friend just bought a pro stock Gemini that pulls 13 second quarters with a stock 1.6 ltr engine, how many gauges does he need to complement the 4inch exhaust he has just hose clamped to the old 1.75 inch system:
    A: 2
    B: 3
    C: 4 or more.

    49. Part A. Khalid wants to look like a homeboy from LA, does he wear his cap backwards or forwards when he goes to Carousel Friday night?

    49. Part B. How low does he need to wear his pants?

    50. If Soula leaves school at 14 to be become a beauty therapist how long will she need to work before she saves enough money to go on a holiday to Greece?

    51. How long does it take Fadi and his mates to strip a hot Subaru WRX?

    52. If South Melbourne Hellas loses this weekend in the soccer, how many car windows will be smashed after the match?

    53. Con and his mates are going to the Kick Boxing fight at the Casino, how many fights will they try and start in the line to Inflations afterwards?

    Bonus Questions:
    54. How many Holden Commodores are there in Lalor?
    55. How many guys named Joe are there in Lalor?
    56. How many guys named Joe are in Lalor that drive Commodores?

  2. Thats pretty funny... :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  3. I read the whole thing in a bad Greek accent.
  4. Great stuff.

    I started working in Broady 3 weeks ago.... :LOL:
  5. So have you removed the hub caps from your car or just welded them on to be safe..................