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Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Sep 2, 2005.

  1. Thanks for not stealing my job out from under me Hornet600

    The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

    The winners are:

    1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

    3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.

    6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absent mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

    7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

    13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
  2. Now that IS a Friday Funny. I can see a million uses for these!! Thanks!
  3. Brilliant.

    See, the Internet IS useful for something.
  4. Had to search the archives for that one. My normal supplier of Friday Funnies must be on holidays or actually working for a change :roll:

    Mind you, my "Funny Stuff" Box in outlook has 684 items in it to choose from but I've probably posted 100 of them in here in the last 6 months.
  5. So what you are saying is that we are likely to run out of Fridays before you run out of funnies?? GOOD!!!! keep 'em coming!