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Friday Funny - A bear, a lion and a chicken

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Mar 10, 2006.

  1. A bear, a lion and a chicken meet.

    The bear says 'if I roar in the forest the entire forest is shivering with fear.'

    The Lion says 'if I roar in the Savannah the entire desert is afraid of me.'

    The chicken says 'Big deal, I only have to cough and the entire planet shits itself!!'
  2. hahaha :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
    cant beat the bird flu lol
  3. An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

    Shouting, cursing,crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

    Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father and the mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.

    I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

    Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.

    If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

    If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

    However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

    At this point, the girls father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,

    "You shag her again."