Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Friday Funny - 2 TOUGH QUESTIONS

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Jul 8, 2005.

  1. Question 1:
    If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

    Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

    Question 2:
    It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
    Here are the facts about the three candidates.

    Candidate A.
    Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist.
    He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day

    Candidate B.
    He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

    Candidate C.
    He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice?

    Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

    Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

    Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

    Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

    And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

    If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

    Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

    Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading...

    Never be afraid to try something new.

    Remember: Amateurs...built the ark. Professionals...built the Titanic

    And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

    * 29 have been accused of spousal abuse

    * 7 have been arrested for fraud

    * 19 have been accused of writing bad checks

    * 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

    * 3 have done time for assault

    * 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

    * 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

    * 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

    * 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

    * 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...

    Can you guess which organization this is?

    Give up yet?

    It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
  2. The last set of figures are frightening, but the same statistical analysis of the South African Government makes these figure look like your local Sunday School!!
  3. Mark Latham would do well over there, he's got a few of those honours sewn up.
  4. bwahahahahahahahahahaaa :LOL:

    i picked B :D

    and tell me you didn't expect that from politicians?

    good post :D
  5. Hitler had mistresses, he just didn't get married till near "his end".

    Storytellers built the arc. The Titanic was actually real. Am i supposed to remember to pretend unrealistic things happened and to never ever try to build the worlds biggest ship because it will surely sink?

    From these statistics i can only be sure that a at least 117 US congressmen out of 535 have done worng, as 1 person could commit one of each crime on that list and still be counted as 1 in each category. Not that i care their laws aren't made to keep me in line. Shit the only time I've been to the US for 6 months i had diplomatic immunity anyway.
  6. My dad used to say that politicians are like bananas. They start out green, finish up yellow and there isn't a straight one amongst them.

    (Think I might have posted that before. If I have, my apologies)
  7. hahaha i went with the b as well... fancy a whiskey tonight? :LOL:
  8. You need a life :p