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Frankston Hurricane Appeal

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by vic, Mar 14, 2007.

  1. A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Frankston in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in Playne Street, Frankston. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

    The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately $30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Minto Riots were damaged beyond repair.

    Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived. The Frankston Chronicle reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Frankston.

    One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Kevin and Jason slept through it all."

    Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

    The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bacardi Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals.

    Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, Jewellery from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.


    This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: baseball caps, tracksuits, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Reebok boots any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.

    Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs urgently needed include:

    Microwave meals, Baked beans, Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.


    $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

    **Breaking news**

    Frankston Uniting Church has cancelled their local "Nativity Display" due to their inability to find three wise men or a virgin.

    Please don't forward this to anyone living in Frankston- oh, stuff it, they won't be able to read it, anyway!
  2. I heard the damage bill so far is $1,000,000 worth of improvement :rofl:
  3. early reports are that 2000 Frankston residents have been killed and 5000 injured.
    The town is in total caos and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the country is in shock.

    Kings Cross is sending Kiwi bouncers to help control the riots.

    Sunshine is sending it's fleet of Kebab vans.

    Other comunities are sending slabs of blue label cola and packs of 2 minute noodles.

    Fountain Gate, not to be outdone, is sending two thousand replacement Bogans.
  4. On behalf of Sydney, I'd like to offer the entire population of Campbelltown to re-populate Frankston...