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Franksto to bid for 2016 Olympics

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Jeffco, Oct 13, 2012.

  1. Frankston City Council to bid for the 2016 Olympic Games

    Frankston is making a bold bid for the 2016 Olympic Games. In order to increase the likelihood that the successful bidders will win at least some medals, the competition has been somewhat modified. However, fierce competition is expected from rival areas such as Broadmeadows, Morwell, Springvale, Sunshine, Dandenong, Moe & Footscray.


    The Olympic Flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the City wearing traditional flannelette shirt, jeans & moccasins with his defacto wearing the traditional floral leggins & short top with oversized stomach.



    Competitors will have to hold a DVD Player under one arm & a microwave under the other. On the sound of the starting pistol, a Police dog will be released 10 meters behind the athletes.


    As above with the added obstacles of car bonnets, hedges, garden fences & walls


    Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use. (claw, sledge, etc) The winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm to members of the public within the timeframe allowed.


    A strong challenge is expected from the men in this event. The first target will be a moving police vehicle, the second targets will consist of running bank tellers, video store attendants & 24 hour service station attendants.


    Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband & wife teams & will take place on Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pots of VB at the Saloon Bar followed by a quick peek in Kittens lap-dancing venue. The wife will be told not to make him any dinner when he gets home. She will be wearing bike pants, boob tube & thongs.


    The competitor will attend the nominated City skateboard area where they will obtain a bicycle stolen from a Scotch College or Mentone Boys Grammar student. They then will be racing against the clock. Bonus points will be awarded should a helmet be obtained at time of theft.


    Amended to include Robbery with Violence, Burglary, Unlawful use of a Motor Vehicle, Arson, and Willful Exposure.


    Unfortunately this event will have to be cancelled as organizers cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Frankston.


    The traditional 4-inch beam will be replaced by the strip of gutter outside the 21st Century Dance club. This event will commence at closing time. We expect some extremely difficult dismounts to be performed on the apparatus. The floor routines will be held directly after this event at the Frankston Police Watch house.


    Entertainment will include the local Torres Straight Islander group accompanied by local artists well known within the area. The Olympic flame will be extinguished by some local identities urinating from the top of the local spire in a cascading effect. The stadium will then be boarded up before local athletes & entertainers break into it & remove All copper piping, light fittings, air conditioners, etc...
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  2. FAIL didnt see other posting :-(
  3. These people from Upper Doveton!! :rofl:
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  4. Upper Doveton I like it :D so much classy than plain old Doveton