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For those who take life too seriously

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Guest, Sep 2, 2005.

  1. Not sure if this has already been posted.

    1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

    2. A day without sunshine is like night.

    3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

    5. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

    6. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

    7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

    8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

    9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

    10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

    11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

    12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    13 I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

    14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

    15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

    16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

    18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

    19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

    20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

    21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

    22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...

    23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

    24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

    25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

    26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

    27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

    28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

    29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

    30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

    31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

    34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

    35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

    36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

    37. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

    38. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

    39. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

    Cheers Lids
    :D :D
  2. A classic list, and someone's sig lurking in there, if I'm not very much mistaken......
  3. thanks lids :)
  4. Fantastic Lids
    Already have it saved and emailed out.
    :LOL: :LOL:
  5. Thanks lids. yes it has been sen before, but that doesn't matter. 79% of forum members will have forgotter since it was last posted anyway.
  6. Very good....Ive not seen it before.
    "i couldn't fix brakes so i made horn louder"

    I keep forgetting that motorists cant hear me when i yell bad laungauge.....what about bigger horn...
    Yeah. Scare the crap outta them that way.
    Everyone hates a foghorn especially on an ickle 2fiddy......Im going to work on that...
  7. I love that one "eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines....that would have to be one of my favourite sigs (can't think who's it is :?

    Is it Glitch's????

    Thanks Lids! You must be as excited as me today :p

    :D :D :D
  8. I like #38. It *might* be applied to some netrider members....

    *ducks for cover*
  9. and anyone who takes life too seriously should really eat more chocolate... remember, we all ride motorbikes so shouldnt be worried about dying from weight problems!!
  10. So, let me guess. You're the one responsible for the "definitely chocolate" banner ads that are appearing at the moment???
  11. ...why read about it when you can eat it?
  12. hey eswen are you going through a difficult stage in your life atm??? :? Because every second post you talk about chocolate? :p If not maybe you need to see someone about your addiction :LOL:

    oh btw lids great list :wink:
  13. Every third post honey ;)
    im just depressed because my bike is broken, and stressed from year 12. :( almost over!!!!
  14. Why should talking about chocolate indicate a "difficult stage of life"???? It may be an addiction, like Netrider, but it doesn't hurt anybody, and countless studies have shown that it has fewer risk effects than riding a motorcycle......
    {If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I'm not going......}
  15. har har! any reason to eat more chocolate is ok with me.
    (see my previous posts)
  16. because the stuff is evil.... evil i tell you, and you only eat it when you are depressed about something :twisted: :LOL: :p that and it's a great way to stack on those kilo's

    oh yeah if you can't guess i am not a chocolate fan c8)
  17. yes.. chocolate is evil; just like howard is intelligent!
  18. Hey Eswen,

    Since we're getting on the subject of chocolate. Safeway currently has a great special on wagon wheels. 2 packs of 8 mini ones for $3.00 instead of $2.50 something for 1. :)