FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE ( or Severe Distortions thereof: ) a.. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. b.. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before c.. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. d.. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. e.. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris must be in Seine f.. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. g.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. h.. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? i.. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. j.. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. k.. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. l.. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. m.. Definition of a will: A dead give away. n.. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. o.. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. p.. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. q.. If you don't pay your exorcist, you'll get repossessed. r.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. s.. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. t.. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. u.. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. v.. Every calendar's days are numbered. w.. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine. x.. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. y.. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. z.. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. aa.. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. ab.. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. ac.. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. ad.. Acupuncture is a jab well done.