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For those of you camping at the Grand Prix

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by hornet, Jan 28, 2006.

  1. Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

    1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

    2. Bandage left thumb.

    3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

    4. Bandage left foot.

    5. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand),

    6. Light Match

    7. Light Match

    8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

    9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

    10. Apply burn ointment to nose.

    11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.

    12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene".

    13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

    14. Re-label can to read "Petrol".

    15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

    16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.
  2. Its safer to book a hotel room. :LOL:
  3. I prefer the - assemble all flammable material in a pile, soak with petrol, throw match and run like hell method myself :LOL:
  4. That would be in keeping with your sig, then??
  5. Yeah, experiments never go "wrong", they just sometimes produce "undesirable results" (in which case add more petrol and try again :LOL:)
  6.  Top
  7. I think I'll delegate this task to one of the Hedgeburners from alleged Grammar, stand well back or behind a mound. They are professional Firestarters. :LOL: