Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

For all the taswegians, and those that have lived there.

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Iffracem, Apr 18, 2007.

  1. You know you're Tasmanian when...

    Anywhere that is more than a five-minute drive from your home is
    considered "too far away" and if you can't park right out front of your
    destination, you'll do laps of the block until a spot becomes available.

    You would rather ram another car off the road than let it merge in front
    of you.

    You live in Launceston and think Hobart is a cold, boring, rainy hole
    full of latte-sipping wankers and public servants - but you've only been
    there twice.

    You live in Hobart and think Launceston is a cold, boring, polluted hole
    full of rednecks and bogans - but you've only been there twice.

    You live in Burnie or Devonport and think people from Hobart and
    Launceston should stop their whining because frankly you'd rather live
    in either place than Burnie/Devonport.

    You've ever been involved in an argument about whether the first class
    cricket/football matches should be held in Hobart or Launceston.

    It is considered a disgrace to your family to drink anything other than
    your local beer - Boag's in the north and Cascade in the south.

    You've visited Sydney or Melbourne and some smartarse at a hotel or
    business has asked to see your passport.

    You begin your answer to any question with 'Yeah, nah,' no matter
    whether you're answering in the affirmative, negative or otherwise: "You
    going to the pub tonight?", "Yeah, nah, I thought I'd check it out later

    You've ever left the house in the morning wearing an overcoat, scarf,
    hat and sunglasses and returned home in the afternoon cold, wet and

    You or someone in your family owns a shack at a beach.

    You're only six degrees of separation from Crown Princess Mary of
    Denmark .

    You know how to pronounce Launceston as Lonseston and Glenorchy as

    You can easily identify 5 different subspecies of bogan: The suburban
    bogan, the rural bogan, Bridgewater/Gagebrook bogan, North West coast
    bogan and the Ravo (Launceston bogan).

    You ARE one of the 5 subspecies of bogan.

    You complain loudly about your local newspaper being full of rubbish,
    but believe every published word of it as if it were gospel.

    You've had to explain to someone that yes, Tasmanian Devils are real but
    no, they don't spin.

    The last Tasmanian Devil you saw was roadkill.

    You live in a city and the tap water is actually drinkable.

    Mainlanders complain that you talk too fast, even though they make jokes
    about you being too slow.

    You whinge about the smog but there's no way in hell you're going to
    stop using your wood-heater.

    Beer comes in pots or pints - not midis or handles and only wankers ask
    for schooners.

    The pub is a perfectly acceptable place to take someone for a first

    You can't understand what people see in Carey Lewincamp's crappy music.

    The Falls Festival is the single most important date on your social
    calendar and it is perfectly acceptable to miss weddings and funerals if
    you have tickets.

    You've gone on holidays to the Gold Coast and spent every day sitting in
    the shade to get away from the heat.

    You know what "Chigwell Ham" is.

    You know how to pronounce Clarendon Vale as two syllables.

    The only thing you can think of when leaving a nightclub at 4am is
    " Mykonos " or "Buster's".
  2. Homesick JJ?
  3. he need to get him a myknos suvlaki with extra dysentery stat!
  4. why yes Smack, I do miss you lot....

    Gawd knows why.................
  5. :LOL:

    What's 'Chigwell Ham'?

    Lived there for 25 years and never heard of that!
  6. Haha I love mykonos at 4am :D

    Could never eat that food sober though
  7. Ahahaha nice.

    I don't live there, but most of my family does, and i went down there recently and stayed at rutherglen (outside of lonny), when i got there it was a balmy 19°c and about 3 clouds in the sky, and i walk into reception being greeted by "Good morning, how are you, by gees its muggy today" and i just looked at her, it was the driest weather i had ever been in.

    Has anyone else been to Eagles Snack Bar (just accross the bridge from new norfolk) and had one of their battered hamburgers? If so, I miss them SO much.
  8. Chigwell Ham???? Wat the feck is it????


    Eagles snack bar? Dunno if it is still there, but I remember it as a welcome stop, especially after a winter ride thru the Valley :)
  9. Tis a mystery to me as well, but can only guess...

    A reference to the original Chigwell in West HAM, Pommyland.
    More likely a reference to the local chiggers bogan females, (bush PIGS!!)
    ie "gunna go pork wun a dem chigwell hams"

    everywhere I've seen this, the same question is asked.. "WTF is a chigwell Ham?"
  10. :LOL: Thought so....
  11. Its still there, i only recently went for a family reunion down there (the whole island turned out for it :LOL: )

    One thing i will give the place, lots of nice old cars without a spot of rust on them :D
  12. gemini is the life blood of the chigwell, birdgewater and gagebrook bogans. its just like a commodore, only smaller and easier to steal and leave on chok's on the front lawn.

    cary lewincamp mas my music teacher when i was in year 7&8. i still head down to salamanca whenever im down to catch up with him 10 years later. one of the nicest blokes you could meet, and have no doubt the best guitarist ive ever met too.

    things i should add.. mykonos FTW!! after a night at surreal or regines it was the only place to go.. the 24/7 bakery has nothing on souvo's

    this is very funny and made me miss home. thanks.
  13. You left out the ability to sleep with a direct family member and not be a social otucast because of your actions. :LOL: :LOL: :p
  14. The only way to become a social outcast down there is to sleep with someone that isn't a cousin or closer relation :p
  15. hahahahaha
  16. Awww so now i know why im becoming so hated by the locals
  17. Haha yep that is definatley it :p
  18. :LOL: good stuff
  19. did you know it was a tasmanian who invented the toothbrush?

    Yeh, if anyone else had they would have called it a teethbrush :LOL: