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First date impressions

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by MT1, Jul 23, 2011.

  1. so i'm meeting this chick for the first time today right. am i nervous? **** no! I'M MONKEYMAN! NERVES OF ****ING STEEL BABY!(y)

    Anyway, she's like, the sophisticated type, like a yuppy right or whatever they're called nowadays. agreed meeting point is at her suggested location, some fancy smancy organic herbal biodegradable coffee shop cafe lartay wank thing place. (was'nt really paying too much attention on the phone to be honest, had better things to do, like watch p0rn)

    this will be the first and so help me god the last time i ever park my bike at a coffee cafe.:-$

    so anyway, i'm trying to decide what to wear.:-k do i go ATGATT or squid it ?
    what sort of impression should i be making on her ? what's this chick going to be into? badass asspumping biker dude, or power ranger racer, or singlet and rippling arms?

    my second question relates to me rocking up out the front of the cafe, slightly late. because yeah, i"ll make a grand entrance. straight up over the curb reving the crap out of my bike, making pedestrians jump out of the way etc.
    question being, should i nod to her when i see her?

    thanks in advance for all replies, peace out:biker:
  2. Have to nod, and make sure you post here if she doesn't.

    Also show her your penis, always works.

    Sent from somewhere using Tapatalk
  3. Full leathers, park your bike at the table. Don't say a word, refuse to take your helmet off or acknowledge her in any way.

    Chicks dig mysterious men.
  4. kay full helmet, tinted visor, say nothing just nod, got it

    penis on the first date ? really ? ok i will trust your judgement on this, got it
  5. Id just go helmet and a jacket, park the bike somewhere you can both see it and try not to drop it when your parking. The rest of the date should go fine. Only show her your penis after you've both eaten, otherwise she might be a bit hungry and use teeth O_O
  6. When you park right infront of the table try to direct the exhaust at her and redline it... that'll mask any fancy perfume that may be a turnoff for you & plus, chicks love loud exhausts!
  7. Also, leave your left glove on the whole time. It will protect your hand, and keep it supple for the lady.
  8. Go into cafe, do a donut, dismount bike, demand table be moved to new bike made crop circle.........Show her your penis.
  9. Jacket and boots,
    Youre allowed to wear a towel across your nethers, to protect it from shrivel factor but only while riding the bike.
    She'll know how much you like her straight away..
  10. I've been out of the dating game for a while, but I'm pretty sure the best thing will be to rock up, grab her by the hair & drag her on to your motorbike, then wheelie off into the sunset.

    Chicks love romance, see.
  11. Also bring your own MSG and preservatives to add to your coffee. Your knowledge of real science will impress her.
  12. Aaw, but ain't that sweet? Poor fella is so wound up about it, he's up at 7.50am to worry!
    I think you're underestimating the importance of your green credentials here, given the location of the first date.
    You should therefore do some research about your bike, so when she asks "Do you know how many hectares of Brazilian rainforest were just killed so you could ride that thing here?", you may authoritatively state "Yep: 3.74".
    Chicks love a man that knows stuff like that.
    But have your penis out and semi-tumescent, just in case...
  13. #13 PhilC, Jul 23, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
  14. Gold! Totally awesome...
  15. #15 MV, Jul 23, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    I need to get in on that, that is just f*cking brilliant!

    Does it do 'Stephen Hawking' voice too?
  16. #16 davidp1984, Jul 23, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    Totally awesome.

    You are now also one of my netrider forum hero's. Congrats :)
  17. #17 atropos, Jul 23, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
  18. So ........ what was the questionable phrase in the OP that VTRBob removed?
  19. #19 Not4Resale, Jul 23, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015

    Loved this!

    On a serious note though, the goal is usually to get laid so don't worry about looking too cool. Laying your helmet on the table and then finding out about her and what makes her tick will win more browning points than flexing under the motorcycle jacket.

    Usually I don't pick coffee shops because they aren't too conducive to a loss of inhibitions. Even if you aren't a big drinker, bars are fun to get to know someone. The main reason being, it's easy to get a drink and find a couch.

    Logistics really is half the battle, if you're sitting next to her it's easier to touch her arm when you both laugh or give her a hug when you tease her. Basically it's an area that is conducive to romancing. It's not a big stretch to go from touching the arm to playful pushing to hugging to sitting with your legs touching and finally running your hand up her thigh and kissing her.

    The three most important things:

    - Find out what she is passionate about ("oh you study? Wow, what got you interested in that field? I heard that... blah blah..."). You want her to talk about her values, beliefs, aspirations and dreams. This will get her feeling like she knows you (mr mysterious ;-) hehe).

    - Eye contact, smiling and laughing. Eye contact says you're confident, smiling says you're happy and laughing says you like to have a good time. These three things alone get guys laid. The problem is we're not always feeling these things so we are not always in those modes.

    - Logistics. Not sure where you've planned the date but usually you want to aim it somewhere where you can get it back to your house or hers so you'd throw this stuff into the conversation ie. "I live in Bondi, love living near the city! Whereabouts are you living?" You also want to gauge her age and ask leading questions to figure out her living arrangement. I.e. alone, with parents etc. Once you have the info, you make sure before it gets too late you suggest a movie at your place. Make sure the movie is awesome and something that you'd actually care to show someone. The pretext of a film is basically giving a girl permission for you to take her home for sex. You can still mess it up once you're there but most women know the meaning of the pretext but enjoy the loss of accountability. Remember, you're the guy, take charge!

    If she says "you just want to get me home to have sex with me" give her something cheeky but alluding to an honest answer like "here I was thinking we'd be watching an innocent movie and all you can think about is sex! You girls are all the same!" (Say that one in a cheeky playful tone of course). The tone is what gives away your intent which means you're not lying to her. She knows what's up, she's just testing you to see what mettle you're made of. Are you a man or are you going to unzip your fly and place each one of your delicate nuts in her D&G handbag? Girls test us all the time, most of us fail almost every one.

    Anyway guys... that's just a typical run down of how most of my dates go and how I respond to problems that come up along the way. Hope it helps :D
  20. Seriously man, until you find out her stance on kittens I think it could go either way. If she's a bookish type wear leathers and pray to the road Gods she's into bad boys. If she's got a little wild streak tone yourself down and leave her feeling like she's got a challenge or a chew toy to play with.

    The only thing chicks dig more than bad boys is good boys who they want to turn bad. That's win/win my friend and also the reason Daniel Radcliffe gets all the action. Mind you having a magic wand helps ;)

    Or you could just get a bio-diesel sticker for your bike and be her little biatch for the rest of your life. In which case even showing her your magic wand wont help.