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First Aid How To - Choking

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by gunissan, Jul 25, 2014.

  1. A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy three 10c coins to play with to keep him occupied.

    Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face....the father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back....

    The boy coughs up 2 of the 10c's but is still choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

    A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.

    At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seatand makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
    Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.... tighter and tighter!!

    After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the 10c's, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand....

    Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

    As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "

    'No,' the woman replied.

    I'm with the Australian Tax Office....'
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Brilliant!

    Although if she were really from the ATO, she would have kept the 10 cents :greedy:
  3. Sounds more like a divorce attorney to me, but well played Sir, well played.
  4. I find it rude that you've cracked a joke about my wife and lied about her work place as well.

    She does NOT work for the ATO.

    • Funny Funny x 3
  5. Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
    • Funny Funny x 1