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figures...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by ward_4e, Jun 7, 2006.

  1. This man is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell
    for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus.

    The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed.

    At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's
    sent to the electric chair.

    On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner
    grants him a final wish.

    "Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"

    "Yes," answers the executioner.

    "Can I have that green banana?" the man asks.

    The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's eaten
    it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending
    hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears
    the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

    Can I go?" the man asks.

    "I suppose so," says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

    The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling
    tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are
    still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed.

    The man is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.

    The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair
    up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

    The man is again sat in the chair.

    "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.

    "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned
    man.



    The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The man
    eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of
    volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears
    the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe
    it and lets the man go.

    Well, would you believe, the man gets his job back on the buses.

    Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
    time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The
    executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to the chair,
    determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair
    smiling.

    "What's your final wish?" asks the executioner.

    "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed
    lunch?"

    The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin
    included. The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million
    trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is
    still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

    "I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How you can still
    be alive after all that?"

    He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't
    it?" he asked.

    " No" said the man,"I'm just a really bad conductor" :roll: :p
     
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  2. ......actually if he is a bad conductor he should be dead then...

    a good conductor would have the volts/amps travel though with minimal resistance....... a bad conductor would resist the power/heat up and burn etc....



    but it's a good joke though :)
     
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  3. Ok just because you were a smart arse, I'll bite. You actually die of heart and brain failure, so if you were a bad conductor the electricity wouldn't get to your heart and brain. The burns are secondary.
     
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  4. yeah but you'd have such massive burns it wouldn't matter.

    if you hypthetiacally had 0% resistance (perfect conductor) then the current wouldn't effect you as it would take path of least resistance.

    This is of course all useless as we know what happens when you flick the switch
     
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  5. actually, being a bad conductor would save your life (ie: air is a bad conductor, put nothing in the chair and nothing will happen). Being a good conductor (ie: not air) would make you cook. Take basic electronics again my friend.
     
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  6. i concur
     
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  7. yeah ok it's been about 10 years since i really thought about this. :-k

    haven't had to design a circuit since then.

    which ever way... he got away with it.


    Ya can put the popcorn away now Ward.
     
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  8. its building... any second now tailus someone will jump in with a darwin awards quality example and it will be on...
     
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  9. I guess the fact they dont actualy have conductors on busses in Texas has slipped by everyone.

    (ducks for cover as ward_4e throws something at me) ](*,)
     
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  10. never been to Texas so i wouldn't know
     
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  11. :LOL: if its the US / texas I would have shot at you.... and blamed some palastinian boy throwing a rock....
     
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  12. Actually, we used to laugh ourselves silly over that one when we were kids because the buses and the TRAMS HAD conductors......
     
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  13. I think the plane would be able to take off even if the belt wasn't going the same way. oopps, I mean, If the guy is a bad conductor, then why did he keep getting his job back at the bus company ?? :grin:
     
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