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Falling asleep in church...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Milos, Jun 30, 2005.

  1. One day Mrs Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: My husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

    "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion to you, give him a good poke in the leg."

    In church the following Sunday, Mr Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs Jones.

    "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin.

    "Yes, you are right, Mr Jones," said the minister.

    Soon, Mr Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs Jones.

    "God!" Mr Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

    "Right again," said the minister, smiling.

    Before long, Mr Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
    husband with the hatpin again.

    The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

    Mrs Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

    "Amen," replied the congregation.
  2. LMAO :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

  3. The old couple was sitting in the front row of the church. Not long after the sermon started, the old man began to snore. The minister put up with it for as long as he could, and finally, he stopped his sermon and looked down to the old lady. "Madam, will you please wake your husband up?" he said.

    "Listen," she replied, "You put him to sleep, YOU wake him up."
  4. :LOL: :wink: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: FUUUUNY :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    I get the feeling Merimbula is going to be alot of fun