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Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Justus, Dec 5, 2006.

  1. A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends
    $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

    On her way home, she stops at a newsagents to buy a newspaper. Before
    leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how
    old do you think I am?"

    "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

    A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
    the very same question. The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

    The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

    Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a pharmacy on
    her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints
    and asks the clerk this burning question.

    The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I'm
    50, but thank you!"

    While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next
    to her the same question.

    He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young,
    there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
    forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
    Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

    They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of
    her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

    He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around
    very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he
    gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them
    against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says,"Okay,
    okay...How old am I?"

    He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands from under
    her bra and says, "Madam, you are 50."

    Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how you could tell?"

    "I was behind you in McDonald's...."
  2. did he want fries with those :LOL: