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excuse to take a sickie ?

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by MONKEYMAN, Oct 22, 2010.

  1. :arrow:the purpose of the thread is a handy reference point, to select an excuse from the data base, when calling in sick to work.

    scenario: 'it's too nice a day to attend work, your tires are allready pre-warmed by the morning sun... but you have to make the dreaded phonecall and do your best to sound ill or have a tip top flawless excuse.:?
    once the phonecall is completed you are FREEEEEE.:tantrum:

    But... what to say to boss ??? :confused::-k

    please add to this thread an appropriate and convincing sickie excuse so as all can benefit by simply scrolling down and selecting something new and different you have'nt tried to fool them with before.

    and hopefully we will have a wide and varied selection to choose from and all can enjoy as many sickies as they can get away with over summer.\\:D/:biker::beer:
  2. i use 'no babysitter'. and it's truth too. honest!
  3. As I do physical work I go with sore shoulder or sore back. I just send an sms to the boss so he doesnt even get the chance to question me.
    My dad once told me when he was younger he pulled a sickie and told the boss he was suffering "nausea and exhaustion from working at (insert company name)" when the boss asked him what that meant he said "im sick and f*cking tired of working for you". he was then promptly sacked but 30 years later still says it was worth it.
  4. I could prolly just tell my boss that I am very sick at need 120 km/h + winds filtered through a composite shell to recover and find him to be understanding...
  5. I just call up and say, won't be in today. Or I'm sick not coming in, see you tomorrow...

    Out agreement allows 18 individual days with no certificate, providing it's not immediately before or after a day off, other wise you need one, which no one provides anyway...

    In a previous job I couldn't take any sickies, not possible, so I didn't for years and when I left I got f all for my wasted life with them...

    Although ive never taken a dodgey sickie ever.
  6. Dodgy fish last night, I am sitting on the dunny talking to you,
    They dont want to know about it,
  7. If I want a off I just take a day off, it comes off my accumulated ADO's, if I haven't got any left then it comes of my holiday pay.

    The rest of the people at work do the same thing if they want a personal day off.

    Compassionate leave or sick leave are separate and don't require certificates for a week or less.

    If you trust people and treat them right then (mostly) you don't end up with people trying to cheat the system.
  8. I had a guy call up one day .....

    "I wont be in , My goat got out."

  9. "Ya mean ya Granny died...again?"
  10. lol, i think i might know who that was.

    Probably not, but a month or so ago, neighbors up the road had their goats escape XD

    for a women, "women problems". They wont ask

    for a male, "I'm having a colonoscopy today"*

    *disclaimer: probably wont work as they may ask for doctors certificate
  11. ...trade secret...
  12. Golden oldy but still a classic...

    "I can't come in today I'm sick..."
    "Just how sick are you?"

    "...Well I'm in bed with my sister"
  13. self-employed. conversation goes something like:

    Me: "I wanna go for a ride"
    Me: "Smart girl. Good thinking. You're my best employee. Let's go"

    Old days, I used to blame technology: car's broken down; washing machine exploded; waiting for telstra; toilet's leaking; tree fallen on roof (don't ask me how that comes uunder the heading of technology :-/)
  14. Hmmm, I dont take sickies unless I am really sick. Had one sick day on the last 3 years since I started the business. I have 5 staff, they are all honest with me. Honesty is much better than having someone tell you shit. I dont care when the guys take days off, as long as the work gets done, and done on time. The rest is really irrelevant to me.
  15. that excuse gets you a mandatory 3 day sickie where i work

    diarrhoea + 48 hours symptom free = return to work, so call it in on a Wednesday
  16. lol, and most hospitality places require a doctors cert to ensure your free of that little bug!

    Gastro is a great one(Outside of hospitality), or back pain.

    I've been given 2 weeks off before for insomnia :p
  17. Taking a sickie when you're sick is a waste of a day off I reckon.

    I went in 1 morning, opened the front doors and saw a redback. Yelled out I got bitten and went to hospital. (I had a little nick in my hand that would pass for a spider bite.) Well the doc said quick go to Monash so they took me in,,, They had to keep me in observation for a minimum 8 hrs,,,LOL, I got done badly. I won't use that excuse again.

    I got another funny 1 but will save that for later.
  18. I have a mate who does "health days". He reckons he goes to work when he is sick if it is busy anyway, so when it is quiet and not so busy he takes the sick day in full health.
  19. Im in middle management... so I have a boss and I have staff

    I encourage my staff to be honest with me. They work hard and I am flexible with their times.
    If they tell me they need a "mental health day" or just personal time then they get it... sometimes they even work extra hours to make up for the time they take off so it doesnt effect allowable sick days

    I despise people who take sickies just for the hell of it and leave the rest of staff in the lurch