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Evening classes for Men

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by echoball, Feb 24, 2005.

  1. hmm dunno about this, but here goes


    NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

    ALL ARE WELCOME
    OPEN TO MEN ONLY


    Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

    The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:





    DAY ONE

    HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
    Step by step guide with slide presentation

    TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
    Roundtable discussion

    DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
    Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

    DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
    Debate among a panel of experts.

    LOSS OF VIRILITY
    Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

    LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
    Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


    DAY TWO

    EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
    Group discussion and role play

    HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
    PowerPoint presentation

    REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
    Real life testimonial from the one man who did

    IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
    Driving simulation

    LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
    Online class and role playing

    HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
    Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

    REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
    Bring your calendar or PDA to class

    GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
    Individual counsellors available
     
  2. Very ammusing hehe :D

    ...where do I sign up??
     
  3. although he was trying to get to the footy not the evening class.

    I rest my case on asking for directions
     
  4. SIGN Dazza Up NOW!


    Signed Mrs Dazza :D :D

    I m sure he will fail.
     
  5. I failed badly, that's why I was divorced!!!! :D
     
  6. You forgot the other half:

    NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR WOMEN!!!

    ALL ARE WELCOME - A MAP HAS BEEN INCLUDED, PRE-PRINTED UPSIDE DOWN FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE

    *OPEN TO WOMEN ONLY*

    NOTE: OWING TO POOR TOILET FACILITIES IN OUR PREVIOUS VENUE WE HAVE MOVED, ALL THE GIRLS WILL BE PLEASED TO HEAR THE NEW VENUE HAS TWO CUBICLES TO ENABLE PAIRED LOO TRIPS.

    *SPECIAL OFFER!!!!!!*

    Sign up early and get rubbish pair of flip-flops or a beach-bag made in a Vietnamese sweatshop.

    The course covers two days, and topics in this course include:

    DAY ONE

    HOW TO SUFFER IN SILENCE
    Step by step guide to dealing with PMT and not inflicting it on others, with PowerPoint presentation (Don't worry Andrew has agreed to set up PowerPoint for us.)

    TOILET SEAT - ITS PLACE IN A MODERN HOUSE HOLD?
    In-depth lecture into men's indifference.

    DIETING
    EXERCISE - The real reason your diets don't work. Vanessa Feltz as guest speaker.

    READING THE MANUAL
    How to get full usage out of you mobile phone, TV, DVD player - with extracts from Dr Peter's book: "Crying Won't Help"

    EQUALITY
    The difference between being an equal women and trying to be a man - Open forum



    DAY TWO

    WHY HE ONLY WANTS ONE THING
    How to show you have other traits worth considering - Abstract Discussion group.

    ROMANCE - A PRIVILEGE NOT A RIGHT.
    A lecture - followed by ten tips on how to earn flowers and chocolates.

    ORAL - TASTE IS NOT EXCUSE.
    The relative amounts of liquid swallowed by each partner vs. actual time taken, displayed in an easy to understand graph format. Followed by a team building exercise and a guide to constructing your own BFCI( Body Fluid Consumption Index).

    PARALLEL & REVERSE PARKING - THE INSURANCE PERSPECTIVE
    Driving simulation (Please bare with us on this one, if you don't crash the computer will)

    WAIT TILL THE END
    A guide to waiting for adverts or the programmes' end before asking questions. This will include a practical demonstration with Match of the Day and The Godfather.

    LOSING GRACEFULLY
    How to accept defeat - winner's shouldn't have to suffer - A lecture.

    UNDERSTANDING X - Man's 6th sense
    How your current boyfriend knows exactly why your Ex boyfriend contacted you after 8 months of silence!

    *************************************