An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. How many children?' asks the council worker. '10' replies the Essex girl '10?' says the council worker. 'What are their names?' 'Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne.' ' Doesn't that get confusing?' 'Naah...' says the Essex girl 'its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it...' ' What if you want to speak to one individually?' says the perturbed council worker. 'That's easy,' says the Essex girl... 'I just use their surnames' +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. '' I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress.' she says. '' Come again?'' says the clerk, cupping his ear. '' No'' she replies. '' This time it's mayonnaise.'' +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says 'Choose from our range on the wall.' She says 'I'll take the red one.' The man replies 'That's a fire extinguisher.' =+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site. Medic: 'It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?' Essex Girl: 'OK' Medic: 'What's your name?' Essex Girl: 'Sharon.' Medic: 'OK Sharon, is this your car?' Sharon: 'Yes.' Medic: 'Where are you bleeding from?' Sharon: 'Romford, mate.' +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; There's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor. Medic: 'OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed.' Essex girl 'Ok.' Medic: 'How many fingers am I putting up?' Essex girl 'Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!'