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Economic modelling

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by StRider, Jun 3, 2008.

  1. Economic Models explained using Cows:

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and eradicates you.

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

    CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a well paid consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
    of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
    debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
    four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
    a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the
    rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
    The public then buys your bull.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
    and produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
    market it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You genetically re-engineer them so they live for 1000 years, only eat once a month,
    and milk themselves by hand.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch instead.



    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest and jail the newsman who reported the situation for treason against the state.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least you are part of a democracy now ...

    and finally ...

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows
    The one on the left looks very attractive …
     
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  2. :LOL: :LOL:
    Loved it !
     
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  3. Bwahahahahaha an oldie but a good one nonetheless! :LOL:
     
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  4. I particularly liked the Italian one.
     
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  5. THE VICTORIAN GOVERNMENT
    You have 2 cows.
    You are subsequently fined for exceeding the legal cow limit.
    Both cows are impounded and sold for pet food.
    The revenue raised is invested into ways of trying to find a reason for the milk shortage.
     
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  6. Haha, same. Awesome :D
     
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  7. Spot on! :)
     
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  8. The German/Japanese were the best
     
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