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Early retirement

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by D1300, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as R.A.P.E. (Retire Aged People Early).
    Persons selected to be R.A.P.E.D can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been R.A.P.E.D and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be R.A.P.E.D once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

    Only persons who have been R.A.P.E.D can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Consequently persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

    Persons who are not R.A.P.E.D and are staying on will receive as much S.H.I.T. (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of S.H.I.T. it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough S.H.I.T., please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.


    The Management

  2. clever :wink:
  3. Thats a great laugh

    Thanks for the posting :LOL: :LOL: