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Drummer Joke Thread

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Big Chris, Sep 15, 2007.

  1. After watching the Chasers War this week,
    love the EMO detergent Ad,
    got onto Drummer Jokes,

    What is the diference between a drummer and a drum machine?

    You only have to punch the tune into a drum machine once.

    bata abta ching.

  2. As a drummer the best part about these jokes is giving the joker a go on your kit and then laughing at their complete lack of timing and coordination. Love it.

    With that said...

    Did you hear about the bassist that locked his keys in the car? Took him 3 hours to get the drummer out.
  3. what did the drummer get on his IQ test?


    how do you know there's a drummer that the door?

    the knocking gets progressively slower.

    why are concert intermissions only 20 minutes?

    so you dont have to retrain the drummer.

    how do you know if a concert floor is level?

    drool comes out both sides of the drummers mouth.
  4. What's the definition of a drummer? - someone who hangs around with musicians.

    Drummer sheet music -
  5. lol, drummer jokes always crack me up, but what i dont understand is why do we always hang shit on drummers, without them everything comes crashing to a halt, i haven't met a lead g player who could hold a rythm without the drummer (and no i wasnt a drummer, i played base)

    bu saying that, if your drummer dies halfway through the set just replace him with a metronome, most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway
  6. I used to be a drummer / guitarist myself but I still like to laugh at these jokes. For some reason the general consensus is that drummers are brain dead, no idea why. Really I've not met any drummers worse than the average lead singer. IMO music without drums ain't really music.

    Keep them comin' :LOL:
  7. A guy walks into a shop and says to the attendand, "Ok, I need some gear for the band. We need some new mike cables with..."
    The attendant at the counter interupts, "You're the drummer, aren't you?"
    "Yeah, how did you know?"
    "This is Pizza Hut."
  8. softball or baseball?? :grin: :LOL:
  9. pmsl.. Maybe a joel is really drummer at heart!
  10. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  11. A man goes to a pacific island for vacation. As the boat nears, he notices the constant sound of drumming. As he gets off the boat, he asks a native how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "very bad when drumming stops."
    Later that day, the drumming is still going and it is really starting to get to him. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been spooked. "Very bad when drumming stops," he says, and hurries off.

    After a couple of days with little sleep, the man had had enough. He grabbed the first native he saw, slammed him up against a tree, and shouted, "What happens when the drumming stops?!"

    The native replied, "Bass solo."
  12. How many drummers does it take to change a lightglobe?

    Only one........ but he'll break 20 before he figures out you can't just shove 'em in. :grin:
  13. How many bass players does it take to change a light globe?

    None. The keyboard player does it with his left hand. :LOL:
  14. What has three legs and an asshole?
    A drum stool.

    Why do bands have bass players?
    To translate for the drummer.

    What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
  15. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a lightglobe?
    Ten. One to do it, and nine to say "Yeah, I can do that."
  16. A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at the accordions, please."

    The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says "All our accordions are over there."

    After browsing, the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner."

    The store owner looks at him and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?"

    The drummer, crestfallen, says, "How did you know?"

    The store owner says, "That `big red accordion' is the radiator."


    What do you say to a drummer in a three-piece suit?
    "Will the defendant please rise?"


    What's the difference between a drummer and Dr Scholl's footpads?
    Dr Scholl's footpads buck up the feet.
  17. Ten, one to do it, and nine to say "Yeah but i can do it better!" :LOL:
  18. So many drummers, so little time.
  19. not drummer related, but the light bulb jokes remind me of my favourite light bulb joke:

    How many people in a demographic or social group does it take to change a light bulb?

    1 + n. 1 to change the lightbulb and n to act in a stereotypical fashion.
  20. :rofl: