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Drug Quotes

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Supplied, Apr 5, 2007.

  1. Got some funny ones in here.


    - I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.
    Baseball player Tug McGraw in 1974, when asked if he preferred grass or artificial turf

    - If God dropped acid, would he see people?
    Steven Wright

    -I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.
    Unknown

    - All drugs of any interest to any moderately intelligent person in America are now illegal.
    Thomas Szasz

    - I used to have a drug problem, but now I make enough money.
    David Lee Roth

    - Marijuana leads to homosexuality ... and therefore to AIDS.
    White House Drug Czar Carlton Turner, 1986

    - I ask congress to give thoughtful consideration to legislation entitled appropriately, the Banana and other odd fruit disclosure and reporting act of 1967. The target is those banana-smoking beeatniks who seek make-belive-land ... as it is described in the peel puffers' secret psychedelic marching song 'Puff the magic dragon.

    Congressman Thompson of New Jersey, Congressional Record 19.4.1967

    - It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.
    Upton Sinclair, "The Jungle"

    - I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.
    Mick Miller.

    - Reality is just a refuge for people who can't handle drugs.
    Robin Williams

    - "This drug is especially efficient in producing nightmares with hallucinations wich may be alarming in their intencity. Another peculiar quality of it is to produce a strange and extremly degree of physical depression. An hour or two after it has been taken a degree of sinking may cease upon the sufferer so that to speak is an effort. By miserys such as these the best years of life may be spoiled."
    The Regis professor of physics at Cambridge, in the early 20th century, writes about tea.

    - I'm in favor of it as long as it's multiple choice.
    Kurt Rambis, on drug testing

    - LSD is known to induce psychosis, in people who have never used it.
    Timothy Leary

    - The Caterpillar cannot understand the butterfly
    Timothy Leary

    - I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.
    Keith Richards

    - Did you know America ranks the lowest in education but the highest in drug use? It's nice to be number one, but we can fix that. All we need to do is start the war on education.
    Leighann Lord

    - People talk about soft drugs and claim that they are less dangerous as gateway drugs. I believe this to be completely wrong. Parents should listen more carefully to the lyrics of rave-music who glorifies narcotics."
    Silvia, the queen of Sweden (Malaysia, 1999). Rave-music lyrics? Less dangerous as gateway drugs? Ehh ...

    - If the Fed had a war on abortion like its war on poverty or war on drugs, within five years men would be having abortions!
    Harry Browne

    - Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.
    John Hardwick

    - The jury has the right to judge both the law as well as the fact in controversy.
    John Jay

    - Moderation in all things -- including moderation.
    Benjamin Franklin

    - "Drugs are not the answer *pauses* unless the question is: 'What is not the answer?" In which case the answer would be drugs. That however would be the only time when drugs would be the answer, that I can think of... Next question please..."
    A local politician at a youth summit

    - "Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death!"
    Hunter S Thompson


    - "I grew up, went into rehab
    you know the doctors never did me no good
    they said son you're gonna be a new man
    Ii said thank you very much
    can I borrow fifty bucks."
    Layne Staley Alice in chains

    - I used to get high on life until I realized that life was cut with morons
    Unknown

    - "Woe to you my Princess, when I come, I will kiss you quite red and feed you till you are plump. And if you are forward, you shall see who is the stronger, a gentle little girl who doesn't eat enough or a big wild man who has cocaine in his body."
    Sigmund Freud addressing his wife, from 'On Coca'

    - My dials are pupilated
    Unknown

    - The chemistry lesson from last century is that no drug has ever caused as much problems as the attempts to rescue us from them.
    Arnold Trebach, professor emeritus, American University.

    - The Grass is always greener ... when it is rolled up in a paper.
    N.R. Johansson



    - That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
    Bill Hicks

    - Animal rights people are historically overt abusers of substances, but you know; if you took as much LSD as Paul McCartney you wouldn't eat anything with a face either.
    Unknown

    - In 1960, Allen Ginsberg takes Psilocybin at Timothy Leary's house, calls Jack Kerouac and identifies himself as God. Kerouac hangs up.
    From a book written by Adam Higgibotham

    - "The band The Orb have a little game they play, designed to limit the
    consumption of drugs to those still coherent enough to get a spark
    across a synapse. Having had his fill of a joint, Thrash turns to Alex: "What's the capital of Peru?" "Lima," replies Alex with some satisfaction. Thrash surrenders the spliff. "The Orb," explains Alex hazily, "has become a very geographically conscious band. Mountain ranges in Africa, rivers in Russia, cities in south America - we know 'em all. Have to. No geography, no drugs."
    From a book written by Adam Higgibotham

    - Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
    Abbie Hoffman

    - We can never solve our significant problems from the same level of thinking we were at when we created the problems.
    Albert Einstein

    - I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?
    Denis Leary

    - Corruptisima republica plurimae leges. [The more corrupt a republic, the more laws.]
    Tacitus, Annals III 27

    - The Dancefloor is for those who can't afford to drink in the bar
    Unknown

    - Laws are like sausages, you respect them more if you haven't actually seen how they are made.
    Bismarck

    - The Cruelest Trick Came From The Talibans, Who Allowed Plenty Of Drugs And Then Banned Music.
    Unknown
     
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  2. ^and not a single Mitch Hedburg quote.


    For shame... ;)
     
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  3. And the most widely regarded/known quote from Bill Hicks (amongst about 100,000 to choose from :> )


    Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
     
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