An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?' Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.' Kiwi: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager) Dog: 'Yep' Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?' Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.' Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?' Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.' Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?' Horse: 'Cool' Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager) Horse: 'Yep' Ventriloquist: How does he treat you? Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.' Kiwi: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?' Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f***** liarâ€¦â€¦'