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dog food

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Nixy V3, Apr 21, 2007.

  1. A guy was buying a large bag of Purina at Big W and standing in line at the check out. A woman behind him asked if he had a dog.

    On impulse, he lied and told her no, he was starting The Purina Diet again, although he probably shouldn't because he'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

    He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.

    Practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with his story, particularly a guy who was behind him.

    Horrified, she asked if he'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because he had been poisoned. He told her no; it was because he'd been sitting in the street licking his balls and a car hit him.

    At that point, one guy almost had a heart attack he was laughing so hard he staggered out the door. Stupid b*tch...why else would you buy dog food??!
  2. HAHAHA ROFL that last sentence tipped me over the edge! ROFL :LOL: :LOL: Hilarious
  3. Oh good God, that's brilliant!!!!
  4. An old lady went to the supermarket to buy dog's food and when she arrived to the check out, she was asked by the cashier if she had a dog. She said Yes, that is why I'm buying dog's food. So the cashier replied saying that she needed a proof because lately a lot of people had been buying dog's food to eat it themselves. The old lady went home and brought back a little dog and just then the check out chick sold her the food.

    The next week the old lady went to buy cat's food and when she arrived to the check out the cashier asked her if she had a cat. A little bit annoyed the old lady said: But of course I have a cat. I wouldn't be buying cat's food otherwise. The reply of the check out chick was the same: I need proof that you have a cat because lately people have been buying cat's food to eat it themselves. Once again the old lady went home and came with her cat and only then the cashier sold her the cat's food.

    The following week the old lady came with a little box and before going into the supermarket she went straight to the cashier and said to her: Could you please put your hand in this box? The cashier said: But what is in there? It can be a snake. The old lady said: No, it is not a snake and it is not going to harm you, please put your hand in here before you make me go back home.

    The check out chick put her hand inside and quickly pulls it out and screams: You made me put my hand inside a box full of poo. Are you mad?

    And the old lady just looks at her and says: Well, I did it because I'm going to buy a package of toilet paper and I wanted to show you the proof.