A guy was buying a large bag of Purina at Big W and standing in line at the check out. A woman behind him asked if he had a dog. On impulse, he lied and told her no, he was starting The Purina Diet again, although he probably shouldn't because he'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again. Practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with his story, particularly a guy who was behind him. Horrified, she asked if he'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because he had been poisoned. He told her no; it was because he'd been sitting in the street licking his balls and a car hit him. At that point, one guy almost had a heart attack he was laughing so hard he staggered out the door. Stupid b*tch...why else would you buy dog food??!