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Do you fart in bed?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Tim^, Aug 14, 2007.

  1. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
    The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.



    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them out because it was making her sick. He told her he could not stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

    She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
    Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back; she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his pants.

    Some time later, she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
    After years of torture, she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

    She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
    He said, 'You were right Love. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you'.

    'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
    Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in.
     
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  2. Old joke, disgusting, but still made me laugh for some reason...
     
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  3. Never seen it before and glad i have! Gold. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
     
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  4. Have heard it before (long time ago) still gives me a rye smile.
     
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  5. Byahaahhahahahaa.
     
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  6. It's like the tree falling in the forest.

    If a man farts in a bed, and there is no-one around to hear it, does it stink?
     
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