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Did you hear about the blonde?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Removed_User_6, Aug 25, 2005.

  1. A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
    She says, "What's the story?"
    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

    Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
    A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

    Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
    A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

    Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
    A. By doing the splits.

    Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
    A. Nothing, they haven't met!

    Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
    A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

    Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
    A. More leg-room!

    Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
    A. They chip their teeth.

    Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
    A. Fertilized

    Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
    A. Butter is difficult to spread.

    Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
    A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

    Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
    A. Artificial intelligence.

    Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
    A. A brunette with bad breath.

    Q. What do blondes and cow shit have in common?
    A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

    Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
    A. She opens the car door.

    Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
    A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

    Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?
    A. Play ball!

    Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
    A. You always hear about them but never see them.

    Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
    A. Cause it said concentrate.