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Dear Management

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Kraven, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Was emailed this earlier today..........................

    Dear Management,

    I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

    * I do physical labor.
    * I work at great depths.
    * I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
    * I do not get weekends or holidays off.
    * I work in a damp environment.
    * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
    * I work in high temperatures.
    * My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


    The Penis

    Dear Penis:

    After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

    * You do not work eight hours straight.
    * You fall asleep after brief work periods.
    * You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
    * You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
    * You do not take initiative.
    * You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
    * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your
    * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
    * You will retire well before you are 65.
    * You are unable to work double shifts.
    * You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
    completed the assigned tasks.
    * And if that were not enough, You are constantly seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.


    The Management
  2. I've been watching Carnivale on Channel 2 and when I here the word "Management" it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end...