Dear Honda, This morning I didn't know what a cam follower was, or that my motorcycle didn't go. At midday I knew something was stopping my clutch from going in and out, or doing anything. I also knew, instinctively, that this was related to why my motorcycle wouldn't proceed at a reasonable pace down the driveway. By 5pm I knew what a cam follower was, what it looked like, what it did, where it was supposed to be in the whole clutch process and, importantly, where it is not supposed to be. Where it is not supposed to be is in the engine block, floating freely on a sea of oil, adventuring through chasms and valleys, peaks and hills of shiny, lubricated machined parts. It is not supposed to sail among the cogs and plates, over filters and around springs, it is not supposed to surf through the sump, nor is it meant to beach itself deep within the catacombs of cast metal inside the crankcase. Without your rider's handbook demanding I clean the oil screen every 1,000km, I would never have learned about the humble, adventurous cam follower, because I would never have removed the right crankcase cover to get at the screen, and would never have had the cam follower fall off inside the block while I was reinstalling said crankcase cover. I would, instead, have merely changed the oil and not bothered to scratch off the 0.75 grams of vegetable and/or bug matter that had accumulated on the oil screen in the last thirty years - like the previous owners of my bike had done, smartly ignoring your idiotic advice and not breaking that seal. Without this demand, I would also have not broken the gasket on the crankcase cover, which was so old and atrophied after thirty years of doing nothing it turned into something akin to black, dried pasta. So thank you, Honda, for insisting I perform this task. Not only will I have to turn the bike sideways or upside down to find that cam follower (and I can't wait to hear of the adventures it had, nor to have the bike fall on me again!) I get to catch a bus to Northland tomorrow to buy some Stag and catch a bus back to try and kludge the gasket on the right crankcase cover. It is important I kludge that gasket, that I find the cam follower, that I get the bike started. I have a date tomorrow afternoon. A very important one, with someone far more attractive than the inside of a crankcase. It is of a great deal of importance that I arrive at said date on time, which is impossible via the Melbourne public transport system. Not to mention how much cooler one looks when one arrives to a date on a motorcycle rather than via a bus. Thank you, Honda, for all these precious experiences. But next time, please, can you just use an oil filter like everyone else? love, FriendlyFire.