Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Dealing With Disapproval.

Discussion in 'New Riders and Riding Tips' started by patske, Apr 17, 2005.

  1. Hi guys, I'm sure most of you at one stage or another had to put up with disapproval for your decision to ride a motorbike, how did you deal with it and did people's (Mostly) wrong generalisations about motorcycle's and motorcyclists play any part in your decision making??

    To throw one in the pot:
    I've decided to get a bike after having been a huge fan of motoGP and just about anything witch an engine, I can't afford a car and a bike is a perfect means of transport + it's awesome fun for me. My mother however disagrees and is threatening to dissown me upon my purchase of the vehicle, since my parents are divorced naturally I have my fathers support on this matter but I live with my mum and I'll have to put up with her whinging when I finally start riding later this week.
  2. I suppose the only thing you can do is try and sit down with ya mum and expalin to her your reasons for the purchase of a motorcycle. Ensure her that youll be careful and always wear good protective gear. And thats about the best you can do.

    Im sure shes just worried about you. Thing is its your life and ultimately you make your decisions. My old man said i was an idiot for buyin a bike, then next time i went down to visit him guess what he had in the garage, a new bike.!
  3. You should talk to lidz,
    I belive she has had to deal with some of that lately.
  4. hehe no mono's in front of the mum .. got it.
    She's offered me money for a car but with my income from work and uni I can't afford to run the bloody thing. I want to buy the bike because it's a bit of independence for me aswell as a mode of transport. Since I will be able to buy it run it and insure it all on my own no help from the folks. I'll probably just end up buying it and riding it and waiting for her to get used to the fact that I own and ride a motorcycle.
  5. Easy: live with your dad :)

    btw: buying a shitty old used runabout car ($500) is a lower initial layout than buying a 250cc bike that won't kill you ($2000) plus gear ($1000), although the ongoing costs for the car on a per kilometer basis will be much higher)
  6. i too have been met with dissaproval about my decision of getting a motorcycle; of course, not to the extent that you have. only thing i can suggest is that you listen to 'their' thoughts and they listen to your thoughts on the matter and hopefully they will come around to supporting you. another suggestion is to involve them in the whole looking for the bike experience. although i had been researching the idea of getting a bike for a while when i told the folks about it they assumed i had not thought it through properly! they are coming around slowely! ok, sure it's not the safest mode of transport but there's no fun in wrapping yourself up in cotton wool and not living your life!
  7. I take it from this sentence, you are still under the delusion that motorcycling is cheaper than ownership and the running of a car.
    Being the last to want to put you off the joys of motorcycling, don't even think that it will be a cheaper form of transport, by the time you have paid for your safety equipment, helmet jacket gloves pants waterproofs etc etc etc. Chains every 10, to 20 thousand k's seems to be a average same with rear tyres (the cost of one of these I can and do buy four van tyres that will last 50 thousand k's plus) maybe 10 thousand extra k's out of a front tyre, insurance, and service costs not at your cars 10 thousand k intervals but at 5 thousand k intervals. Sure you will get more k's to the litre of fuel, and at the moment you dont have a toll on city crap, and you will save money on parking. But sadly this is where the savings in monetary terms stops.

    As for the oldies cracking it, let them if they are so shallow as to disown you for riding a motorcycle and doing something you enjoy, well what can I say. Been there done that. Was taken out of the family will for continuing to ride. Big deal the silly buggers blue it all in the stock market crash, couldn't have happened to a betta lot. :p So nice to see Mr Yuppie ferrari driving maggot driving around in a 1971 holden HQ welcome back to the real world uncle Terry. :LOL:
  8. Sit down and talk to her about it . Tell her to listen to ur feelings about it but u also have to listen to hers as well . But i agree with Martyh , show her ur doing everything safely and properly.
  9. i'd say that peoples generalisations regarding motorcycles are true most of the time, they're dangerous, and this is compounded by the fact that a lot of riders are idiots on the roads, just like there is alot of idiot car drivers.

    i got the same thing when i got my bike, my mums a nurse and has seen enough lives ruined through bikes (as have i) to be horrified at the idea of my getting one.

    but once i had it at my house my parents grew to accept it very quickly as at least i ride sensibly and try to make allowances for dumbass road users and poor road conditions, i also wear full protection no mattter the weather or distance of the trip.

    anyway try talking to them about defensive driving techniques, riding within your limits and the fact you will always wear protective gear on the road.. assuming you want to do all that :)
  10. Don't worry i know how that feels!! I wanted to start riding a bike 18 months ago but didn't have all the cash outright. Naturally i told my parents and asked if they could loan me the money to get one as bank loans are too costly. They said NO as i expected but offered me money to buy a car if i wanted (i hadnt even gotten my car licence at that stage and the cost alot more).

    I turned down the offer, saved my arse off and bought myself a car about 12 months later. Now that i've bought my car and have started saving again i've decided that i REALLY REALLY want to ride and should never have bought the car (courtesy and commonsense prevailed and i bought the car and having a GF meant it wouldn't be nice to take her places on the bike as she isn't the biggest fan of them, and it messes up their hair when going out).

    So now i'm saving and should soon be on the road riding with the rest of you, just like my dad did for 20 years. (he owned 22 bikes in his time and only bought his first car about 5 years ago. Until that time he had only owned 3 cars, 2 of which were company cars).
  11. I was really lucky myself. I thought my Mum would crack it when I got a bike but she turned face and was really supportive.

    I suppose a helpful avenue Patske would be to acknowledge the dangers of motorcycling, as this is the biggest playing card used by parents. If your Mum sees that you're aware of all the dangers, that might help to change her mind.
  12. thanks for the support guys, I'll talk it through with her once the bikes delivered, it's useless trying to talk to her about it when i don't have it because she just doesn't think im serious about it.
    I'll show her!! lol I'm sure she'll come around and she will probably end up being proud that I could actually save up the 5 grand I needed for it all
  13. As they said talk to your mum .
    also where are you ??

    reason nbeing it doesnt hurt to have a couple of riding freiend drop in once you get your bike for a cuppa , then your mum can chat to them .
    If they are experianced riders they have been through all this "bikes are dangerous" and "its not you its the other dickheads on the road "
    as they have dealt with it for a long time .

    anyway , parents do that as they are only concerned about your well being .

    proof that bikes are reasonably safe .
    she would know who Ulysses are , how do those old farts :)wink: :LOL: for all you ulysses members) make it to that age riding , so it cant be that dangerous as they are the biggest motorcycle club in australia.

    if you really want to get her attention , tell her you are joining hells angels :LOL:
  14. My mum didn't unserstand why i wanted a bike cause i've been driving for 4 years now, but she was alright with it in the end, and my dad used to ride trail bikes so he is actually trying to re-live his youth a little through my bike!! so im lucky in that respect, but its been other family members and people from work that tell me im crazy, but at least i can ignor them a lot easier than if it was my parents!!
  15. gr8 idea Glen & as I'm probably in her age group & just passed my licence I'd be glad to help as she may listen to me!
  16. Does she drive?
    Maybe she is looking for a chauffeur.
  17. move in with your father
    problem solved.
  18. just go get it, my dad disapproved of me getting a bike. When i brought my first bike home he didn't talk to me for about a month. then later he learnt to accept it because he realised nothing was going to make me change my mind.
  19. I was told the moment I buy a road bike is the day I move outta home. When I told em I had put a deposit down on one, my mum bought me a new helmet!!!

    Gr8 idea that your mum meet other riders. Unfortunately the fact that most road riders wear full face helmets makes us seem un human. When they meet riders face to face they can see we are people and do have brains. And MOST importantly are great people and are vastly different from what many perceive us to be (crazy dead heads etc or whatever some people may believe us to be before meeting us face to face).

    It is good for your mum to be involved and understanding you getting good gear, rider training, etc, etc, etc and that she can see you are approaching this sensibly and it is not a spur of the moment whim. Bottom line is anything can be dangerous if you make it so. You can make it dangerous or you can make it as safe as you can. Show her which option you are taking. You tell people you are going parachuting, and they assume you are going to get training etc and so accept it as high risk, but still safe. Tell em bout motorcycling and they assume no training, no safe approach. Not all of us are wanting to pull a mono at 160 km/h down elizabeth st, whilst splitting traffic at peak hour, and talking on a mobile, lighting a smoke and pouring a cuppa.......