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Dad Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Lazy Libran, Jun 1, 2016.

  1. Found this on google as well..

    An Australian, and Scotsman and a biddleonian were heading out into the desert for a survival mission, the regulations were that you could only take on the item to contribute to the success of the mission.

    The Australian decided to take a big tarpulin, this would provide shelter for when its hot or when it rains.

    The Scotsman decided to take his beloved bagpipes, they took his mind off the struggle that he was about to endure, plus they kept away the natives.

    The biddleonian insisted on taking a car door, the others laughed, but he knew that if he wanted a nice cool breeze, all he had to do was wind down the window.
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Winner Winner x 1
  2. *Dad Joke Alert*
    • Agree Agree x 3
  3. I LOVE irritating my 14 year old daughter with Dad Jokes!
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  4. as you should
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. It should be recognized as a national sport
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. Here's some more..
    Sandwich walks into a bar - Barman says : "Sorry , we don't serve food in here"

    Two peanuts walk into a bar - one was a salted
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 2
  7. grasshopper goes into a bar - barman says, 'hey we have a drink named after you', grasshopper replies 'what, Eric?'

    I'm not a dad but I have many dad jokes
    • Like Like x 1
  8. I only know dad jokes.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  9. A blonde walks into a bar - ouch
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. A piece of string walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "you'll have to leave, we don't serve string in here." The piece of string walks outside, twists himself up, reffles his hair and walks back into to bar. The bartender says, "Oi! I told you we don't serve string in here! You deaf or something?"
    The string replies, "I'm a frayed knot! "
    • Funny Funny x 7
  11. Oh man! That is so good!
  12. a battery and a jumper lead walk into a bar - the barman takes one look and says 'you guys better not start anything in here'
    • Funny Funny x 5
  13. A brown bear walks into a bar and orders a beer.
    The bartender says, "We don't serve brown bears at the Back Bar of the Beef and Bourbon Burger Bar and Grill."
    The bear gets annoyed, grabs another patron by the hair, smashes his face into the bar, and says "I want a beer!"
    THe bartender says, "No. I told you we don't serve brown bears at the Back Bar of the Beer and Bourbon Burger Bar and Grill."
    THe bear gets really angry, steps back and take a huge bite out of the bar, and growls "Give me a beer!"
    The bartender replies, "No, I told you already, we don't serve brown bears at the back bar of the Beer and Bourbon Burger Bar and Grill. Besides, you'll have to leave anyway as you're clearly on drugs"
    "What drugs??" the bear replies, "What are you talking about??"
    The bartender replies, " ... that bar bit you ate!"
    • Like Like x 3
    • Funny Funny x 3
  14. yeah I love that one
  15. #15 Rus Ler, Jun 1, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2016
    A baby fur seal walks into a club.......................
    • Funny Funny x 2
  16. It was YOU!
    • Funny Funny x 2
  17. Two of my favourite Dad jokes of all time - and I'm not even a Dad:

    What's green, got 6 legs and when it jumps out of a tree kills you? A snooker table.

    Cowboy rides into town dressed in a brown paper suit - got hanged for rustling.
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  18. x354-q80.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. *Drives past a cemetery*
    Dad: "That's the place to be."
    Kids: "Huh?"
    Dad: "Everyone is dying to get into that place."

    *Drives past a cemetery*
    Dad: "That place is the dead centre of this town."
    kids: "Groan."
    • Funny Funny x 5
  20. "What's red and bad for your teeth?"


    "A brick."
    • Funny Funny x 4