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Dad jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by gunissan, May 24, 2014.

  1. [​IMG]

  2. You called?
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  3. image.
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  4. Does that mean all dad jokes are punative?
  5. The people that have to listen to the jokes are being punished.
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  6. Since fathering children I wear the dad joke as a badge of honor. What I love most about them is, when telling them to my wife, the expression on her face the second she computes how terrible the joke was and that she just invested the previous few seconds in listening to them.
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  7. Guilty as charged.
  8. I formed a band with some mates. We are a cover band. We called it Doona.
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  9. Bet that joke made you feel all warm and snuggly.
  10. I had to have a bit of a lay down afterwards
  11. That would make it a Downa
  12. Make that Quilty as charged then.
  13. Sitting at a beach side restaurant in Phuket a couple of years ago I had laid several excellent "dad" jokes on my 12 year old daughter, I gave up when she asked the nice American couple at the next table if she could sit with them.
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  14. "excuse me, may I sit with you?"

    "Sure honey, what's the problem?"

    "It's just my Dad"

    "there's a problem with your Dad?"

    "yes he's telling jokes again"

    "oh you poor dear, never mind, he'll grow out of it when you have you're own kids".

    "WHAT? Ah - sorry, but I think I want to sit with my Dad now".
  15. Should've bought a Jeep.
  16. Unfortunately I don't have kids, but the dad jokes still work on the nephews. I especially like telling the one's my late dad told me, to a new audience that never heard them before, and they love me for it. My younger nephew then makes up his own jokes which are not only Not funny but don't make any sense at all and they get the biggest laughs.
  17. Why did the paranoid guy quit Twitter? He thought he was being followed.
  18. It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
  19. Thats almost too clever for a dad joke.. :)

    why did the koala fall out of the tree?
    It was dead.

    Whats brown and sticky?
    A stick.

    whats big and white and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?
    a refrigerator.

    whats green and brown, has six legs and if gets you from a tree youre dead?
    A billiard table.
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  20. Headed up from The Basin to Sassafras on Sunday, and a green bike (Ninja?) came around the roundabout after me, following me up the hill. We were "pootling" (@Ness_@Ness_) along, the roads were a little damp, he was staying with me, so I thought I'd move over and let him through as I was in no hurry, and he might want to blat up the road, 6km to the top. Indicated left and slowed a little on a short straight, and he was nowhere in sight!
    Well f*** me dead, did he just go off at one of the corners back there? Couldn't let myself go on thinking the guy might need assistance, so turned around at the bus turning area a little further on and went down the hill to find him. Didn't see him over the edge on the way down and rounded the roundabout at the bottom to come up to look again. Had a big chuckle when I saw the bike parked up against a house near where I lost him! Bit of a dad action, I'm afraid!
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