Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Cringeworthy or just plain retarded quotes from learners

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by RRdevil, Apr 13, 2015.

  1. So I've noticed a trend of learners posting things that are just either cringeworthy or just plain wrong. Post up your favourite quote from a learner or noob. This might cause a fray but it is in good humour so don't just go and report the post because you get butt hurt.

    I've got many a favourite from my mate UnconnectedUnconnected, a 'beleiber' in the truest sense of he word

    My favourite surely has to be the many many many references to muscle memory saving his life when his front brake caliper bolts came undone
  2. Wow...rush of blood to the head with all the charlie chuckles today Mr RRdevilRRdevil! :D

    Can we quote ourselves or is that just considered narcissistic ? ;)
  3. "Car drivers see me more when I wear my high-vis vest."
  4. Add "how did they not notice my high vis vest!".
    • Like Like x 1
  5. "...so you just twist this do yooooooouuuuuuuaaaarrrgghhhhhh........."
    • Funny Funny x 3
  6. "Yeah, I've ridden loads before and probably won't need any training. ......woah!shiiiiiittttt!!!"
    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. "I swear my 250 is so quick, I'm never going to want anything faster."
    • Like Like x 3
  8. "My CB400 is faster than most 600cc supersports"

    It think everyone knows who that was
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 3
  9. Once heard a beginner skydiver in the plane say to his instructor " so how many times have u died?" man I laughed hard. That dude was so scared.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. My personal UnconnectedUnconnected claim

    Unco: RRdevil why have you said your cbr1000rr is HRC, nothing on your bike is HRC parts unlike my VFR400.

    Me: what about the HRC unit prolink rear suspension?

    Unco: (crickets chirp)
    • Winner Winner x 1
  11. I'm looking to upgrade but I don't want a litre+ bike because I don't think I could handle something so powerful.

    Don't twist the fcuking fun handle so far back then!!!! The fact it's a litre bike makes little to no difference if you control the tap
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. My favourite was a thread on this site which the mods have seemly removed to save embarrassment. A new rider in all seriousness was deeply concerned that riding was making his hands all purple and bruised. It turned out to the dye from his gloves :p
    • Funny Funny x 7
    • Like Like x 1
  13. I AM A LERNER! im severely butthurt by this thread! :p

    I got asked recently... "why do you wear the jacket, boots and pants? it looks ridiculous and its so uncomfortable"... gave him one look up and down in silence..said learner wearing singlet, sneakers and footy shorts who proceeded to walk into the gym... I chuckled and went on my merry way, is it even worth speaking to people like this? hahahaha
  14. where's that picture of the almost round rear sprocket....?
    • Winner Winner x 1
  15. i have 2k posts there, with clout like that, my trolling gets noticed and thats always fun.
    • Informative Informative x 1
  16. in the modern age having such skinny tires is simply cost cutting on the part of crapasaki. for sure, they are enough for the bike, but when it comes to grip i personally prefer to have as much of it as possible and bigger tires means a larger contact patch at all lean angles.
  17. i want a bike without abs so i can learn to brake properly.
    • Like Like x 1
  18. That's not really a retarded or cringeworthy quote that's actually a decent thought process
    • Agree Agree x 8
  19. I think riders who do *this* are dangerous and irresponsible.

    • Like Like x 1
  20. 'I was weaving to warm up my tires on the way to work.....'
    • Funny Funny x 2