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Couple of religious jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Bluey, Dec 2, 2006.

  1. I was a naughty boy and the joke was removed. Maybe I should read the T&C.

    Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them: "I must
    tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

    "Thank God," says an elderly nun at the back of the room, "I'm so tired
    of Chardonnay."
  2. that first one is so so nasty.
  3. I refuse to apologise for my (bad) taste in humor! :p
  4. PM joke that was removed plz! :grin:
  5. +1
  6. PM me first joke too, I hate religion and not afraid to admit it! LOL
  7. Little Johny is in scripture and the teacher says "Today we will have a quiz", all the kids groan, little Jamie is playing with an old compass and protractor set behind johny.

    Now children what is the name of our lord and saviour??

    Jammie jabs johny in the ass with the compass, Johny jumps up and yells JESUS CHRIST

    Correct Johny well done

    Johny sits down rubbing his ass while jamie wipes blood off the compass

    Now then, who is the father of our Lord

    jamie jabs johny, johny jumps up and yells

    Correct johny, you are doing so well

    Johny sits down cursing as jamie giggles

    Now class the last question..... what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their 2nd child?

    Quick as a flash Johny jump up, spins around and says

    You stick than thing in me again I'm going to wrap it round YOUR fcukIN NECK
  8. God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"

    St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."

    God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."

    "Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"

    "No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"

    "I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"

    Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"