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Computers and Lou Costello

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by jackarau, May 4, 2005.

  1. Remember the old: "Who's on First Base?" This is even funnier if you are
    old enough to remember seeing "Who's on first" by Lou Abbott and Bud

    Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott......

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
    about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my names Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just
    say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.
    What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w"! if you don't start with some
    straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
    your business Just tell me what I need!

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO: If it is a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 and 4. Can
    I watch them?

    ABBOTT: Of course.

    COSTELLO: Great, with what?

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie.
    What do I do?

    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1."

    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?

    ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: The! Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

    ABBOTT: No, just one. but its the most popular Word in the world.

    COSTELLO: It is?

    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
    Pretty much wiped out all the other Words.

    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even Part
    of Office.

    COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping
    you have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??

    ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........
  2. hahahah nice.

    Those two are hillarious......or were I should say
  3. Thats priceless, send it to Bill Gates he might use it in an advertising campain.
  4. a bit long winded but funny all the same
  5. I've got their "who's on first" skit on mp3
    Still listen to it often:)
  6. Hilarious and clean?!
  7. A crack up!! hehehehe

    :D :D
  8. Ha... good one.

    Really helps if you can imagine their voices and actions in your head!

    :applause: :applause:
  9. Yep that squeaky little voice cracks me up everytime.

    :p :LOL: :p :LOL: