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Common sense is dead

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by boo, Feb 13, 2007.

  1. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
    has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
    since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

    He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
    Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
    worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
    more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
    are in charge).

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
    overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy
    charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
    from school for usin g mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
    reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
    job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
    children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
    parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a
    student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant
    and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
    contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
    treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
    burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sens e finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
    realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
    her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
    wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is
    To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

    (Thanks to Viv for this article)
  2. Now I'm depressed.

    The only thing that can cheer me up now is chaseing fat kids with the leaf blower...
  3. :rofl: ha ha I just got a great visual!
  4. Common sence tried to stop me doing lots of things. If I'd listened to common sence, I'd never have rollerbladed through the house in the dark or been dragged in a dodge truck bonnet behind a KX250 or leapt from a moving speed boat to barefoot waterski behind another skiboat. :shock:

    Common sence could have stopped me having plenty of fun. :LOL:
  5. Like this?
  6. Very true. I mourn the loss of common sense.. he was a good friend. :(
  7. Scrambles! How the frack did you do that?
    Bloody perfect!
  8. Mr C, you and Ktulu and Micky are definitely from a different planet :)

    chasing fat kids with the leaf blower :LOL: :rofl:
  9. How true and that just eliminated what was going to be this weeks Friday Funny (yes I actually put some, but not too much, thought into it).
  10. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    Do you love Funniest home videos as well??
    Luv to see a ball bounce of a kids head.... :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  11. Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!!! :LOL:
  12. Mmm Hmm, but apparently the A1s are louder than the V8 F1s (the A1s are F**KING LOUD!!!!!! Especially the rolling start)

    But IIRC when Webber drove the Williams across the Sydney Harbour Bridge he was only supposed to go 80kmh, but someone worked out that he was going ~200kmh