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Childish Insight!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Ezyryder, Jan 15, 2007.


    NUDITY - I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

    MORE NUDITY - A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

    HONESTY - My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago".

    OPINIONS - On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

    KETCHUP - A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

    ELDERLY - While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

    DRESS-UP - A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning"

    DEATH - While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

    SCHOOL - A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

    BIBLE - A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
  2. I had the nephew over for a couple of nights a while ago and we had a huge thunder storm, now I had been dropping the F word a couple of times that day and I guess the young bloke heard me (yeah naughty uncle Earth).
    Any way there was a loud clap of thunder and he comes racing into the room where I'm reading and says "what the F..k was that"
    After telling him that it's not nice to use that word ('Cause my sister would kill me if she found out he heard it from me :LOL: )
    I showed him what lightening was, and explained what thunder was and that thunder couldn't hurt him.

    Off he toddled.....5 minutes later there was a thunder clap that shook the house, he comes running back in and says "Thunder right?"


    "Can't hurt me right?"


    "F...ing loud ain't it ?"
    :roll: :roll: :wink: kids...ya can't win

    and yes he did tell his Mum where he heard the word :grin:
  3. Shouldn't it be child-like insights? Anyway, funny stuff.

    A little boy had been told by his mum, and heard in church, the phrase, "From dust we came and to dust we shall return". He called his mum into his room and very earnestly said, "There's someone either coming or going under my bed...".
  4. Very good, Paul.