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Changes to history by grade 6 students

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by randy_rider, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. Here's an oldie but greaty!

    > The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history test.
    > Watch the spelling!
    > 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
    > They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that
    > the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
    > 2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened
    > bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount
    > Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached
    > 3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
    > 4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
    > have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
    > 5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
    > advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After
    > his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
    > 6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and
    > threw Java.
    > 7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
    > of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king.
    > Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
    > 8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
    > 9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success.
    > When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
    > 10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
    > removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the
    > circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he
    > invented cigarettes and started smoking.
    > 11. Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
    > 12. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He
    > born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much
    > and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and
    > hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example
    > of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
    > 13. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He
    > Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise
    > Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
    > 14. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.
    > Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the
    > Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing
    > cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand."
    > Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
    > >
    > 15. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother
    > died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin, which he built with his
    > hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
    > Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater
    > and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.
    > believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane
    > ruined Booth's career.
    > >
    > 16. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large
    > number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he
    > kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the
    > famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German,
    > Italian, and half English. He was very large.
    > 17. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote
    > loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was
    > for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
    > 18. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
    > inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by
    > machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to
    > up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a
    > hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.
    > Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species.
    > Curie discovered the radio. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

  2. What about "Pompeii was destroyed by an eruption of saliva from the Vatican?"
  3. Oh dear everyone is looking at me funny now! I haven't laughed this hard all week :grin: :grin:
  4. same here i havent laughed this well for a long time
    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
    kids and there innocences lol
  5. oh my god my ribs hurt sooooo bad.
    Absolutely fantastic.
  6. hoyl shit!! how freakin funny is that!!! love it! we should sticky this!! gold
  7. When did that kid meet my ex gf? :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  8. Why didn't I read this at home? It's unhealthy to stifle so much laughter.
  9. Very funny indeed. Would love to have seen the teacher's reaction when marking these papers. :LOL: