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Chairman's new helmet - male menopause in action

Discussion in 'Riding Gear and Bike Accessories/Parts' started by Chairman, Oct 11, 2006.

  1. Over the past year I've traded in my trusty Levis 501s for leather pants, upgraded my nasty SR500 to the far more socially acceptable SZR660, complemented my 15yo leather jacket with a textile DriRider and started to wear earplugs. Lets face it - I'm getting old.

    Those who know my current helmet will attest that it is a little tired. It was a gift from an old friend - himself a rider - who lost two sons in separate bike accidents and I've worn it for its sentimental value, because it's protective value is zero. The buckle and strap both show signs of repair, it has almost no padding (but a lovely quilted liner) and, techincally, it isn't missing its Standards sticker, because it never had one. It predates the Australian Standard. It is extremely comfortable, light and doesn't make me look like I'm wearing a halloween pumpkin on my head.

    But, I finally concede, it is time to put the old helmet out to pasture.

    Today I was wandering down Elizabeth St and I dropped in to my favorite bargain haunt, Motorcycle City, to gaze longingly at my dream helmet - one of the few I'd consider as a replacement. Rare as rockinghorse sh1t, this helmet stole my heart about 2 years ago when I first saw it, worn by a winsome blonde lass. And, despite having more facial hair and bigger tits than she, I knew it would look great on me.

    So I scoured the bike shops, searched the internet, all to no avail. Made of purest unobtainium, I couldn't find one.

    To add insult to injury, Motorcycle City had 3 - but none in my size. So, just to torture myself, I'd drop in every now and again to see if they'd spawned a baby that would fit my size "S" head.

    Today a sales-chap approached me and asked if I need help. I told him my sad story and he took pity, offering to ring the distributor. He went to the front of the shop to get a phone number off the box and, hidden behind some other boxes, there it was. Black. Matt. With "CHAIRMAN" written right across it.

    Hmmm...$199...can you do any better. In truth, there are better helmets cheaper, but this is a triumph of fashion over form and I wanted it. Now!

    Ok..$180...best we can do...done!

    And now I'm the proud owner of the exquisite Lazer Dragon, matt black and chock full of serious horn (hmm...does that make me a diquehead?).

    "Keep the box, son - I'll wear it now" I said, as I strapped the old helmet to my belt and jammed my new one on my noggin. Snapping shut the visor (oops...do goggles get redundancy pay?) I strode to my bike with an air that said "Fashion Statement!" I hopped on, pressed the button and headed off the the freeway.

    Initial observations...It doesn't try to rip my head off by lifting up and creating a jet stream that runs up my eyebrows, over my scalp, down my neck and into the collar of my jacket. It doesn't make noises like a swarm of bees inside my head. The strap doesn't pinch my skin and leave me looking like every ride ends in a love-bite, or viciously beat my pillion passenger with 18inches of flailing webbing.

    The price? Comparable with what you'd pay on Ebay or an online store to bring one from the US (where they're badged as the AGV Dragon) but this one has the standards compliance sticker.

    And of course, it looks waaaayyy cool. I love it.
  2. :rofl: Mark !!!
  3. that's an awesome story & a tops looking helmet mate!
  4. Soooooo........

    when are you signing up as an extra for SG1 :bolt:
  5. hahah that is great!
  6. i must have one :grin:

    where did you end up getting it from?

    (oh noes! you'll lose that pretty face when you stack! :LOL: :p )
  7. So are you Ice, Goose or Maverick?

    I feel the need, the need for....
  8. .... acting out some distant boyhood fantasy? where is teh comms link?
  9. I like having a little jaw protection myself, but yours definitely looks way cool!
  10. OMG....talk about travelling through eras at warp speed.........

    from Biggles to Chuck Yeager :rofl:

    at least this means I wont have to duck to avoid those flying goggles of yours........ :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  11. I think he must be trying out for a part in the remake of Top Gun!

    That think looks like a cross between a fighter jet helmet and a cartoon space type character head!

    But hey, as long as it feels good Mark, who really gives a shit what it looks like! :p

  12. Hahahaha Well done Chairman. I've got one in the cupboard but its a Gentex one in "Fast Jet Grey". I can't wear mine though, because I have nowhere to plug the comms lead and oxygen mask into!

    Lookin good!

    Cheers, :beer:
  13. All you need is the cape that goes with it.
  14. Then grow a beard, you big sook. :LOL:

    Coconuts - It came from Motorcycle City - it was just a fluke that he found it. I'd asked the staff in the past and they'd insisted that there were no others except the display stock - all too large. If you like the style, what about the Osbe Tornado? (Second choice, becaue of price and lack of local compliance)


    Mrs Scumbag..for you...The Cromwell Ducati helmet - stainless steel, leather trim, pilot visor.

  15. Does it come in white?

    ... t1000...
  16. The post below this explains it all.
  17. Another stupid double post from another stupid timeout.
  18. What a lovely story. I warmed the heartles of my.... Er, wait a minute.
  19. Nah, it's not Top Gun.

    The moment I saw the pic I thought of...



    Come clean, Chairman. You're kitting up for a top-secret mission to snatch the latest Ural prototype from deep within (ex)Soviet territory!

  20. Very spunky!!

    And here I was thinking you'd come over to the full faced helmet dark side...!

    ...will you be getting a new avatar too...?

    Perhaps something along the lines of: