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Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by motormouse, May 31, 2007.

  1. A guy walks into the Broadmeadows Centrelink office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on the dole. I'd really rather have a job."

    The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent.
    We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
    chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter.
    You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of
    your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.
    You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll
    have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

    The guy says, "You're bullsh**ting me!" The Centrelink officer says,
    "Yeah, well, you started it"
  2. HAHA ROFL that's great, there is so many people I could send that to. :LOL:
  3. *ugh* I hate Centrelink...hate going in there...hate ringing them...hate needing them...hate the stigma...etc etc
  4. That sounds like them..
  5. They haven't (generally) posted job vacancies for years (Job Network took that role over), but the Centrelink stigma and often the Centrelink service is as rotten as ever.

  6. I think the govenment purposely makes centrelink shit house so it motivates people to get a job :LOL:
  7. :rofl:
  8. ezyrider wrote
    i think they're good. much better than ctp insurence. centrelink refer to their claiments as 'customers'. they have a system to protect customers from stigma employees. i have a friend who is one of the king pings of centrelink and her attitude towards the customers couldnt be better.

    nobody wants to live on centrelink, the pay is so low that money shortage alone is what motivates one to find work.

    those who stay at home watching telly, drinking beer and smoking pot all day are not the 'bluggers' people think they are...

    they are the people who got out there and tried and failed, tried and failed, tryed and failed and gave up. there's only so many times a person can take rejection.
  9. :applause: :nail:

    Great post

  10. I wouldn't laugh at that... It's true and very sad.

    I don't have any opinion about the amount of $ people on welfare receive, but centerlinks service is woefull. I get the feeling the staff hate it too. Underfunded, understaffed.
  11. Not always, I have met people who have tried and been kicked in the teeth, ended up back on the dole, tried again been kicked in the teeth again and so on
    I have also met people who just don't try, and the worst of the lot are the daydreamer "I'm an artist" types who claim there an artist, but never produce anything.
  12. The thing about centrelink that shits me is that they pay students less then those people on the dole, even if the circumstances are exactly the same (except for the student studying, and the dole person looking for work)

  13. hahaha, there's 2 blokes walking down the st. One's an artist, the other one doesn't have a job either.
  14. Yep, you got that right. I don't need convincing, I have done contract work for Centrelink, worked for FACS and currently work in the Job Network. Some staff at these organisations work miracles every day to try and give their clients/customers the hope they need.
  15. I grew up in an area with a lot of artists (kind of a creative, hippy sort of place). After a while it sort of became popular for many people to rock up from anywhere and then go around claiming that they were 'artists' as well - ones who fit Falcon-Lord's description.

    I remember when one accomplished artist rounded on a new arrival and shouted 'You don't call yourself an artist, it's what other people call you if you're any good!'
  16. And he's one of them :)
  17. Funny about that, I know several friends of my daughter who make a living out of their art. I believe that most of the people who graduated from the Victorian College of the Arts when she did are selling their stuff.
    One of her friends is doing very very well in Sydney as a painter (and no, not the house type :roll: )

    It's more the actor and muso wannabees that are like that.