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Cat Diary vs Dog Diary

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Phanoongy, Jun 26, 2006.

  1. THE DOG'S DIARY:

    7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

    8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!



    2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

    3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

    6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

    7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

    8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

    11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!


    THE CAT'S DIARY:

    Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with
    bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
    while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
    mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may
    eat another house plant.

    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
    while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this
    at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse
    these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on
    their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
    attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
    strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
    about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working
    according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
    in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear
    the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my
    confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
    "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
    advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.

    The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
    He is obviously a half-wit.

    The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks
    with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due
    to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

    But I can wait. It's only a matter of time.
     
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  2. As an owner of both, I agree :)
     
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  3. [IMG:640:485:0722529c66]http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d56/pcbigg/TakethatKenobi.jpg[/img:0722529c66]
    Both of mine 2 years ago.

    As the owner of both I also agree.

    My cat is trying to take over the world, I'm sure of it.

    The dog always manages to foil his plans though.

    Both of mine, a few weeks ago:

    [IMG:640:480:0722529c66]http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d56/pcbigg/DSC06911.jpg[/img:0722529c66]

    Nothings changed.

    He still hasn't taken over the world. We are safe for now.


    :)
     
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  4. :LOL: I'm gonna print that out and give it to my friends that say cat's aren't too fussy.
    Dogs are great :)
     
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  5. That first pic is excellent
     
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  6. [img:425:283:5af2741c93]http://pawprintz.gallery.netspace.net.au/albums/Bike-Pics/withJett.jpg[/img:5af2741c93]

    Of course - it was the dogs bed but the cat insisted on sleeping & he was too polite (scared) to shove him off! :)
     
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  7. PS - LOVE the pics McBigg :grin:
     
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  9. mcbigg: That's awesome :) Show the cat where it belongs!!! :)
     
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  10. "Dogs come when they are called. Cats take a message and get back to you" - Mary Bly
     
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  11. & another

    "Dogs look up to you. Cats look down on you. Give me a pig. He just looks you in the eye and treats you like an equal" - Winston Churchill

    can you tell I'm avoiding doing my end of year tax :roll:
     
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  12. Bill Cosby

    "Dogs are cool; they go get the paper (sorry, didn't mean to tear it, sharp teeth), and all sorts of good stuff. Cats just lie around the house and shed".

    {I have two beautiful cats!!}
     
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  13. dogs eat cats :cool:


    :p :p :p
     
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  14. I have two cats.

    One(half feral big bastard of a cat) is definately hell bent on the destruction of all humans. He really hates my girlfried even though the three of us have lived togeather for 4 years.

    The other is a halfwit albino who cannot get enough attention, you stop patting him and he meows till you let him jump onto your lap again
     
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