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By all Means... MARRY!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Woodsy, Nov 15, 2006.

  1. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
    That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
    Sacha Guitry

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    Hemant Joshi

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
    "What does a woman want?
    Sigmund Freud

    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

    "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
    She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
    Henny Youngman

    I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
    Sam Kinison

    "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
    It's called marriage."
    James Holt McGavran

    "I've had bad luck with both my wives.
    The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
    Patrick Murray

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
    Henny Youngman

    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
    Rodney Dangerfield

    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

    Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
    Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
    "You can have mine."

    First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
    Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
  2. Good stuff.
  3. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    You wouldn't be bitter would you Woodsy :LOL:
  4. my wife and I are happily married.....she is happy and i am married
  5. Ok ladies.... don't kill me for these :grin:

    What does WIFE stand for????


    What is the definition of a wife???
    An impliment you screw on the bed to get the housework done

    Why do brides dress in white??
    All Kitchen appliences come in white

    like I said please don't kill me :grin:
  6. Why is a Christmas Tree better then men?
    It's always erect,
    Stays up 12 days & 12 nights
    Has cute balls and looks great with the light on

  7. Since when have you been around my place????? :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    Kidding...... just kidding