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Brothers - don't they rock?

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Loz, Jul 13, 2007.

  1. I love my brothers dearly, and I just heard a story that reminded me so much of growing up with Shonky and the Colonel that I had to post it:

    A mate used to work in a bank, and there was a man with only one hand used to come in all the time. He was a regular and always up for a chat, but my mate never asked about the stump, because he thought it would be rude to. He just assumed it was a wartime thing, or some industrial accident. So anyway, he quits the job and he's working out the last couple of days and curiosity gets the better of him - I mean, if he doesn't ask now, he's never going to find out. So he does.

    And here's what the bloke says:

    "When I was a young feller on the farm, my brother and I used to muck around a lot. No matter what we were up to, we would always make it a competition or a race. Everything was a challenge.

    Well one day we were out the back chopping wood and being clowns as usual. We were racing to see who could chop the most. Suddenly I had a plan, a weird challenge if you will.

    I dared my brother to chop my hand off. I put it down on the chopping block and dared him to do it. He took the axe high above his head and swung it down. The whole time I was thinking he wouldnt do it and he was thinking 'he will take his hand out of the way' but guess what? neither of us flinched. My hand sat in the woodchips for about 10 seconds whilst we both stared at it. Next thing I knew I was in hospital and had no hand"

    Who knows if it's true... But that story just sums up brothers to me, and I love it. It brings a tear of reminiscence to my eye.
  2. Cliff's Notes for those who can't be bothered to read the story:

    Some guy is chopping wood and his brother gives him a hand.

  3. brothers :grin:
    i have 2 brothers, 2 half brothers and a step-brother. and no, we werent brought up in a caravan :p
    mine stabbed me with a fork, hit me with the axe (with the blunt side though) shot his compound bow at me from point blank (but missed) and threw the dining table at me.....just to name a few.
    we also used to play shot for shot with the slug guns from 50 steps, so lucky to never lose an eye!

    i agree loz, the joy of brothers :)
  4. loz wrote

    ach! never!

    i use to have knife fights with my sisters.

    your story reminds me of the guy who ran over me. he thought i was on a 600 and going to be getting out of his way, i thought he was going to wait 2 seconds.

    "It brings a tear of reminiscence to my eye." :LOL: :LOL:
  5. I don't have any bruvvers

  6. its ok, sisters can do their bit too!
    mine cut my arm in an attempt to place a knife in to my guts :)
    ah, the nostalgia
  7. My sister was fed up with me and a mate running around the outside of our house. So she waited till I got near a window and opened it into me. Needless to say, we never really got on.
  8. Jeez mate, you are sounding like the well adjusted sibling now! :shock:

    Regards, Andrew.
  9. You can have mine! :LOL: :LOL:

    Pains in the arse growing up, being the oldest was fun sometimes though! :twisted: :twisted:
  10. From the 21st speech I gave for my little bro:

    Shonky once came rushing into the house bearing a bag of Macca’s and a smile from ear to ear. “Loz!†he exclaimed, “I found a cheeseburger in me car!†“What do you mean, found?†“Well I think it’s been there a few days. But these things are chockas with preservatives. I reckon it’ll be OK.†This seemed like sound logic at the time, and we were both feeling a little hungry, so the ancient cheeseburger was placed in the microwave and heated to an eating temperature, whereupon it was cut in half.

    We both stood with half a cheeseburger on a plate, eyeing each other, neither of us willing to take a bite, but neither willing to forfeit our half to the other. It was Shonky that broke first, lifting the wilted protagonist to his lips and taking a tentative nibble. Unsure, he took a bite, then grinned at me – “Yeah mate! These things have got the staying power! Yum! mmmm!†I was unconvinced, but Shonky veritably wolfed his half down, and made a move for mine. “Nah mate,†I said, “I’ll have a go.â€

    From the moment my lips touched its surface, I realised that this burger was all but decomposed. Its fetid, rotting meat, rancid lettuce, stale bread and congealed sauce supported a pickle that was beginning to move of its own accord. My tiniest of nibbles was quickly ejected. Shonky was laughing his head off – “Made you taste it!!!†I feel the joke was somewhat on him, as he was violently ill for the next two hours.
  11. I have 3 brothers (& 3 sisters) I am the eldest and left home to take on the world at 16. However in those 16 years I managed to;
    Teach them all to smoke
    Encourage them to light their farts
    Dared one to eat 6 lemons
    Dared another to p!ss on an electric fence
    Taught one to shoot and realised after the electric fence that was a bad idea
    Patched them all up after crashing motorbikes and repairing fences
    And a heap of stuff that Mum & Dad still dont know about :wink:

    After all that I'll have to check to see if I wasnt "encouraged" to leave home early!